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Regarding the caliber for a handgun...I would advise either .40 or .45. After long consideration, I will be going with the .45 for my upcoming purchase. Yes, nearly all law enforcement has gone to .40 and few if any offer the .45, but I have been told by several officers that the reason for this is because smaller women have a hard time with the .45 recoil, other wise .45 would be the standard.
Obviously you need to choose for yourself. Here are the two main reasons why I decided on the .45: 1) the .45 has more kick, but it is a 'straight back' kick whereas the .40 has more of a 'torque' kick, which means the .40 kicks up and turns a bit; this makes it harder to fire numerous rounds accurately. 2) I want a gun for self protection- if I ever have to use it I hopefully will only fire one shot. Although the .40 has better ballastics, the .45 has substantially more stopping power.

Yep, as long as you're carrying a gun that's big enough for the 9mm it might as well be a 40 (that's basically a short 10mm) or a 45. Stay away from the standard 10mm as it's known for it's rather fierce recoil. That said, the most import thing about a handgun is that you have it with you when you need it, and that it goes bang, every time. That's one reason I like revolvers, as you never have to worry about a stovepipe jam, or a failure to feed. Seriously, pistols can be rather cantankerous when it comes to their operation. You can have lots of jams with ammo that the gun doesn't like, and sometimes you have to run several hundred rounds through a pistol before it's broken in and can be trusted to operate reliably. Also some pistols are prone to cycling problems if they're held with a limp wrist when fired. One other thing, don't ever forget that when you drop a loaded magazine out of a pistol, the gun is not necessarily unloaded. If there was one in the breach, it's still there. When it comes to pistols I like Glocks because they are light weight, ultra reliable, accurate, pretty much indestructable, and not terribly expensive. In a revolver S&W is a fine choice and Taurus is reputed to be offering very high quality guns at somewhat lower prices.

I have a Taurus 24/7 .40 and after running 200+ rounds through it I have not had a single issue out of the box.

heacocis wrote: Although the .40 has better ballastics, the .45 has substantially more stopping power.

We could argue all day about stopping power and it really is personal preference. If you have the chance to fire multiple handguns and revolvers that's your best bet. As for stopping power, if you've got a .40 with 15 rounds of hollow tip i.e "law enforcement rounds" you've got plenty of stopping power.
Here's the other consideration, will this be a concealed carry or a handgun/revolver you leave in the glove box, next to the bedside table?
If you're going with the concealed carry, Kel Tec makes a nice 9mm called the P11 that's not too expensive and won't weigh you down. If your not going to carry it with you all the time I'd go with something a bit heavier.
Kel Tec actually makes a bunch of cool guns I'd recommend checking out.

Sig Sauer p229 40 S&W well balanced semi auto pistol

Agree that the .45 is a great stopper. If you research on pistols, you probably can find some honest evaluation on what jams or not. I also think it's the gun itself, not just the make. A good gunsmith can eliminate a feed problem if jams occur. I've had my P-85 Ruger for about 20 years now and had maybe 1 or 2 jams years ago. When you have that first round in the chamber, you got your stopper for up close anyway, before it could jam up. Revolvers are almost trouble free,but limited on amount of bullets on board.

L K Day wrote: Taurus is reputed to be offering very high quality guns at somewhat lower prices.

have a nice compact .22 Taurus, fires just fine and makes it cheaper to blow lots of practice rounds. also love my Bennelli 12 gauge pump, very smooth and as cheap as any others out there

.22 is nice for plinking, but still not much of a stopper for self defense. Semi-auto shotguns are awesome..

You're right woodie, but, still, the first rule of gunfighting is "Have a gun". Generally, the intended victim of a violent attack can protect themselves without firing a shot, simply by making it clear to the perp that they won't be an easy mark. Also a person might not find it too much of a hassle to carry a S&W model 317, at 10.5 ozs and truly diminutive in size, when they would be unarmed otherwise.
With eight rounds of 22LR it would generally be possible to discourage even a determined attacker.

If someone shot me in the ear lobe with a .22 I'd run away screaming.