Climbing Partner AND Significant Other?

[climb2core]

Good thing or bad thing? I have never had a girlfriend/wife that was in to climbing, until just recently. We started out as climber and non-climber but she has since fallen in love with the sport and is now an avid climber. How has it worked out for you?

[DonnyP]

Terrible idea... these are worlds that MUST be kept separate.

In seriousness, it worked out really well for me and my significant other, for a time. It can be unnerving climbing with someone for whom you care that much though. I found myself feeling responsible for her safety as a new climber, and so I would push myself less so I could climb with her on routes that were easy for me rather than climbing with others in our group of friends who climb at my difficulty level. It was fun and good for our relationship, but bad for my climbing and a minor source of anxiety on climbing trips. I don't advise for or against it, but perhaps you can learn from my experience.

[climb2core]

DonnyP, haven't heard from you in a while. Hope is all is good. Was that your GF, cause I bet you never heard the end of that... (joke!) Yeah, she doesn't climb as hard...yet. I just take her to the lode and tell her she is weak and to shut up and climb... hah right!

Oh, and so here is what I had to do until I felt comfortable (mentor relationship too= way harder) with her tying in and cleaning:

A) Climb her route, set up TR
B) Belay her
C) Climb my route
D) Climb her route again to clean it.
E) Climb her next route to set up next TR..
and so on.

I think I got stronger than anyone else this summer because of that, LOL. Now she can clean her own, and this winter will begin the her introduction to the world of lead climbing. However, I did have to pick crags that were grade friendly to both of us... which is not always easy.

[Artsay]

We've been climbing partners since we started dating in 2001 (married in 2005) and it's the best thing in the world. May take the right combination of people but it works for us.

[dustonian]

Ha ha, I wish I had that problem Ray... quite the opposite! But it's been great for me and Lena so far... almost 16 months in! Although I do have to find other partners for trad climbing and "cold" days... ie, below 55! Oh well, I have a few boyfriends and the trusty Bosch for that.

[climb2core]

LMAO, so I was in the middle of quoting SCIN and responding when I hit send... apparently someone thought better of their post and it is now gone... ha ha ha!!! Anyways, here was what I was saying about the disappearing comments... lol:

She sent 27 years on TR the first time touching rock ever. She finished the season with TR Bandolier, albeit hanging multiple times, but routinely TR's 10's with 1 or no hangs... So, with some training this winter I am hoping she is hanging my project draws next season.

Well, maybe not that far. I have made some sacrifices of my climbing time to bring her up to speed, but now it is becoming less and less. I think the harder part is being her mentor too...

I set up Brother Stair (5.9) at Left Flank for her to TR. She tries the start (basically a campus until you get your feet established) and can't do it. Rather than pull through she decides to start walking sideways up the hill, about 20 feet. Then she tells me she is going traverse to the first bolt... which is now 20 feet to her left DIRECTLY HORIZONTAL. I tell her no way in hell... she starts anyways. I took her off belay and walked away from the rope. I told her it was a safer fall if she was going to do something so incredibly stupid. The couch outside the tent was pretty hard and cold that night.

[SCIN]

Oops, misunderstood the question as always. I thought you wre asking about the girl being a gumby and you not being a gumby which is what my response was directed toward. I'll go back in my hole now.

[climb2core]

Oops, misunderstood the question as always. I thought you wre asking about the girl being a gumby and you not being a gumby which is what my response was directed toward. I'll go back in my hole now.

She is a gumby... but learning and improving quickly. And your comments were well received and understood. And yes, we have done multiple crags in the same day. I normally try to climb hard early in the day when it is cold. Then I chill and make it all about her climbs mid-day. Then I am rested and try to send something in the later day when she is done... Works well for us. And things will really open when she she starts leading 10's and 11's...

Your comments were well received

[JR]

Higher highs and lower lows so to speak.

[DonnyP]

DonnyP, haven't heard from you in a while. Hope is all is good. Was that your GF, cause I bet you never heard the end of that... (joke!) Yeah, she doesn't climb as hard...yet. I just take her to the lode and tell her she is weak and to shut up and climb... hah right!

Yes, she was my girlfriend at the time, and she still jokingly gives me a hard time about that fateful day. We still have a great relationship, so if we were able to maintain that through such a scare, you should be fine with whatever might come your way in climbing with your significant other. Sounds like your system works pretty well for you. I always thought that I could warm up on the routes she was interested in and then have her belay me on the things I wanted to try, but there are those days when scouring the guidebook for a crag with plenty of 5.10s and 5.12s (which happen to be the most crowded: Roadside, The Gallery, etc.) has become a nuisance I don't want to have to compromise. It sounds as if it is working well for you two, and that she is quickly becoming self-sufficient as a climber. I wish you luck.

One wonders how things might be different if the woman in the relationship were climbing as hard or harder than the guy... I am sure this is not as uncommon as we might suppose. Anyone have any personal insight?