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All your draws are petzel*your cams sit in your closet and collect dust*there is more dead skin on your finger tips than the bottom of your feet*you have one roll of tape in your pack and it is torn off in narrow strips*you quit trad climbing because you hate groveling in dirty cracks*you say, "what?" when the leader says, "I must not fall!"*all of your gear fits in a day pack*you watch what you eat*you know your body fat %*you're on day two of a trad climbing trip and you can remember that you were bored on day one*you dump your SO beacuse he/she just doesn't get it*you can't wear your climbing shoes for more than one pitch*you know how to roll up a rope bag*your gym membership is set up on auto renew with your credit card*you only know how to belay with a gri-gri*you always flip right to the Hot Flashes section when you get your climbing mag to see what the lates 5.15 or V-crazy send is*you think a beak is somehting on a bird*you use a battery powered drill*you go to sleep at 2am*you drive all night so you can climb all day*you drive all night because you climbed all day*you know who Alan Watts is*The thought of shitting and belaying at the same time makes your stomach turn*techno runs through your head while you're climbing*you send routes instead of climb them*you own a 9.8mm rope*you own prana climbing pants*

I read the post like this in the Trad forum and tried to come up with a list for sport... hope you like it Add some more if you can think of any good ones.

following ticked holds is considered an onsight.

Which Alan Watts are we talking about?

you say "yo" and "dude" a lot and spray like hell at Miguel's

You only climb overhanging routes. You think a crack addict is a drug abuser. You argue over whether the route is a 12a or 12b. You think you know the difference between a 12a and a 12b grade. To you "slab" is an offensive four letter word.

...if out of the 115+ crags at the gorge you've only been to under 10 of them.

Route grades are just letters a, b, c, or d. because it is always at least a 12, and if it is .13, then you are sure to throw that in there. Like, yeah, I did the cool b at the lode the other day. You know that is a 12b. Or, yeah I am working this cool 13 (no letter grade needed).

You think the Motherlode is the Red River Gorge. You can't leave the car without your stick clip. You've heard that Yosemite is a pretty good bouldering area.

Good additons... I like the one about the only been to less than 10 crags at the Red. That is the truest statement ever. I even know sport climbers who don't go to Funk Rock b/c they might get their pretty little feet wet... or haver to hike more than 10 minutes... so sad

And the slab coment for the Red should be that Sport climbers don't get on routes that overhang less than 10 degrees b/c "slabs" suck! Ever notice that what a Red River sport climber thinks is vert. or slabby is different than what the rest of the planet thinks is vertical and/or a slab? Funny!

You've never climbed with Ynot.