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I have been reading about your relationship troubles. I see your pain, and I have a way out for you. A way where you can be free of Loren and his demands. Free of mindless left-right-left climbing on crumby rock...

Yas you need to leave Loren and his big cams to Merrick and join me in some pure climbing. I may not have big cams, but I have a Magnium sized crash pad. Come to the dark side, if only for six weeks, and then when you go back to roped climbing (not likely, but maybe) watch your projects fall like a gumby on sunshine. You will have so much power that you will go up a full number grade. Cracks you say? You like to climb cracks? Well we have those as well. Everything from 30 foot ass draging roof cracks to high ball problems that most people would place 5 peices of gear on. So, you see, bouldering is the way to go. I know it will be hard to leave your friends behind, and it will be hard to get used to climbing without a rope and all that crap. But, once you have had a magnium, you can't go back. Run away to Heuco with me. Boulder in the sun all winter. Free yourself from the rope that holds you back.

Wes

Yeah, I will agree that bouldering is good training. Wes, what is a Magnium size crash pad? Is that kind of like the Magnum Trojans I wear?

Mj

Yas, you better watch out. I know you know why boulderererer's always carry those big crash pads around everywhere they go.

I know, Andrew, but Wes is just so damn cute... And look at this...

Run away to Heuco with me.

That's just the epitome of romance! That was evil Wes, you know I have a soft spot for you...

I think you're right-- it's time for me to stand up for myself and my rights to climb what, when, and where I want to climb. I want to be a bouldererererer, too, Wes!!

This is a very good first step for you, Yas. Wanting to change is the hard part. Now, we just have to get you to some boulders, so you can feel the power of the dark side. And you can check out the Magnium crash pad up close. It is an incredable sight.

Loren, don't try to talk her out of it. She needs to break free from you and your demands. You have Merrick now all to yourself.


Wes

See Loren?? There are others out there! ... At least... that's what I'm going to keep telling myself...

So when are we hitting up When Doves Cry, Wes? I need to test this Magnium out for myself.

Well, When doves cry is a nice intro to crack bouldering for sure. Alas, I am heading to NC, a mecca of bouldering, and a great source of POWER from the dark side, this weekend. So, maybe during the week next week? Once you have fallen on the Magnuim, you will have no trouble running away to Heuco with me weekend after this one. Ah, Heuco, home of many roof cracks, and super steep bouldering. Another great center of POWER from the dark side.

Loren, just keep you big cams to yourself, and Merrick.

Wes

but Yas, what about Recoil? Are you just going to abandon that?

Mj

Yes, Yes she is. Stop tempting her with your boring left-right-left routes. She is on the path of pure climbing now. The POWER of the dark side is greater then your power. Besides, after spending the winter bouldering in the sun with me in Heuco, Recoil will just be a warm up for her flash of Steelworker.

Wes

Alas, Sik, it appears that my fate is to spend my life transitioning between types of climbing... guided by one overbearing, overdedicated man or another... *sigh* it's a tough existence...