You might be a climber if...
Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 6:49 pm
You Might Be A Climber If...
1. "Bomber" is not a noun.
2. "Exposed" has nothing to do with flashing your privates.
3. "Flash" has nothing to do with exposing your privates.
4. "Good protection" has nothing to do with sex.
5. "Nuts" has nothing to do with your privates.
6. "Sending" something does not involve the USPS, UPS, or Fed-Ex.
7. A good Saturday night is spent climbing the side of a house
with ice axes and then traversing the stones inset in the
swimming pool.
8. A highball isn't a cocktail glass.
9. C4 is under your shoe and the rent-a-cop doesn't say a thing
at the airport.
10. Fast food tastes better with chalk on it.
11. It's perfectly fine to hang out half naked and in some sort
of bondage gear with a bunch of guys.
12. It doesn't make sense to unpack your car, because you're
just going to go on another climbing trip soon...
13. It’s ok to talk about sliding your hand up a greasy crack.
14. Not only is your Nalgene scratched and covered in climbing
stickers, but the stickers are so sun-bleached that you can't
tell what they say.
15. Old rusted chunks of metal and wires are keepsakes, because
they were booty.
16. On vacation in France you admire more curves on boulders
than you do on women.
17. Saying "nice jugs" won't get you slapped.
18. The closest thing you've ever had to a real estate agent
was the guy who sold you his VW van.
19. The clothes you are currently wearing have chalk on THEM
20. The ice on the inside of your fridge is impaled with an ice
screw to hold the biner that is your bottle opener
21. The only books you own are guides to climbs.
22. The scent of sweat and chalk gets you excited.
23. The thing you want most in a new girlfriend is a set of
nuts.
24. V8 is a tough boulder problem not a drink.
25. When going to the Gym doesn't involve weights or
treadmills.
26. When typing you think about how you’re actually training
your tendons.
27. When you hear the words 'nose', 'captain' or 'aid', your
hands start hurting and swelling.
28. You've been arrested for climbing the county courthouse
29. You've used a static line and ascender to clean out your
gutters.
30. You aerate your lawn with your crampons
31. You are a 17 year old boy and instead of searching for porn
at 1AM,
32. You search for pictures of Gunks classics like the Buddha.
33. You are an engineer and still have hands rougher than a
carpenter.
34. You arrive at a climbing gym with stoppers and friends
still in your bag.
35. You ask your dad if you can bolt your parents' sandstone
fireplace.
Stole if from online.
What else?
1. "Bomber" is not a noun.
2. "Exposed" has nothing to do with flashing your privates.
3. "Flash" has nothing to do with exposing your privates.
4. "Good protection" has nothing to do with sex.
5. "Nuts" has nothing to do with your privates.
6. "Sending" something does not involve the USPS, UPS, or Fed-Ex.
7. A good Saturday night is spent climbing the side of a house
with ice axes and then traversing the stones inset in the
swimming pool.
8. A highball isn't a cocktail glass.
9. C4 is under your shoe and the rent-a-cop doesn't say a thing
at the airport.
10. Fast food tastes better with chalk on it.
11. It's perfectly fine to hang out half naked and in some sort
of bondage gear with a bunch of guys.
12. It doesn't make sense to unpack your car, because you're
just going to go on another climbing trip soon...
13. It’s ok to talk about sliding your hand up a greasy crack.
14. Not only is your Nalgene scratched and covered in climbing
stickers, but the stickers are so sun-bleached that you can't
tell what they say.
15. Old rusted chunks of metal and wires are keepsakes, because
they were booty.
16. On vacation in France you admire more curves on boulders
than you do on women.
17. Saying "nice jugs" won't get you slapped.
18. The closest thing you've ever had to a real estate agent
was the guy who sold you his VW van.
19. The clothes you are currently wearing have chalk on THEM
20. The ice on the inside of your fridge is impaled with an ice
screw to hold the biner that is your bottle opener
21. The only books you own are guides to climbs.
22. The scent of sweat and chalk gets you excited.
23. The thing you want most in a new girlfriend is a set of
nuts.
24. V8 is a tough boulder problem not a drink.
25. When going to the Gym doesn't involve weights or
treadmills.
26. When typing you think about how you’re actually training
your tendons.
27. When you hear the words 'nose', 'captain' or 'aid', your
hands start hurting and swelling.
28. You've been arrested for climbing the county courthouse
29. You've used a static line and ascender to clean out your
gutters.
30. You aerate your lawn with your crampons
31. You are a 17 year old boy and instead of searching for porn
at 1AM,
32. You search for pictures of Gunks classics like the Buddha.
33. You are an engineer and still have hands rougher than a
carpenter.
34. You arrive at a climbing gym with stoppers and friends
still in your bag.
35. You ask your dad if you can bolt your parents' sandstone
fireplace.
Stole if from online.
What else?
