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More 8a.nu nonsense

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 1:06 pm
by SCIN
So I've seen a new trend where people aren't counting attempts on a route as redpoint attempts and reporting their number of tries as lower than actual. For example, "It took me 6 tries but I sent on my second redpoint attempt".

Oh yea, what is the acceptable reason for not onsiting a route? I see a lot of "I almost onsited it but missed a hold". WTF? Isn't finding the right holds or being strong enough to pull on the wrong holds part of an onsite?

How about this "Almost onsited but hands froze. Then fell a couple of times on the lower moves". Soooo....what's so "almost" about falling a couple of times!?

Also a brand new method of spraying which I call side-channel spray. It's designed for climbers on road trips to the Red who spend their entire week attempting a line which they fail to send. They need to spray about something so, in the comments of another easy route they may have done, they say "So close on (fill in some route labeled with 5.13 behind it)!".

So, the new generation of 8a.nu would tick a route as follows:

User: Andrew Wheatley
Crag: Red River Gorge
Date: 4/3/2011
Route: Twinkie
Grade: 5.12a
Comments: Almost onsited but small penis prevented me from trying hard on the slab. Fell down low 17 times but quickly figured the moves out. Then realized I was missing bolt to clip so it wasn't really my small penis but the fact that I couldn't see the bolt to clip it and that made me scared. Understand? Just want to make sure. Sent on my second attempt although it took me several days to really figure out the top. Regardless, please keep me as a friend because I was SO CLOSE ON PARADISE LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Pussies.

Re: More 8a.nu nonsense

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 1:34 pm
by One-Fall
Nice!!!!! Plus Ive seen Andrew climb. There is NO WAY he could do Twinkie. Just aint happenin'.

Re: More 8a.nu nonsense

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 1:40 pm
by bcombs
I was there the day he sent. I think the comment was actually something like "If I would have known the holds were that big I wouldn't have rested for so long [in the bat hang]".

I promptly went to the bottom of the approach trail and waited for someone to walk by so I could say "Hey, my boy just sent Twinkie".

Re: More 8a.nu nonsense

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 1:42 pm
by bcombs
Also, "Redpoint Attempt" is a Wheatleyism that is covered under international patent laws. If folks are using the term on 8a we will be sending out cease and desist letters. Let this be a warning.

Re: More 8a.nu nonsense

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 1:57 pm
by Andrew
I support this method of spray. Why should I count tries, if I don't actually try during those attempts. I only count tries when I actually try hard, and when I try hard I send. Therefore I do everything first try.

8a is behind the times.

Re: More 8a.nu nonsense

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:04 pm
by climb2core
Sounds like you are almost ready for the Hong point.

Re: More 8a.nu nonsense

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:35 pm
by pigsteak
ray, did some 13 year old girl just send your proj again, and go spray?

I am sorry. Come over for some comfort food if you'd like.

Re: More 8a.nu nonsense

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:35 pm
by Andrew
climb2core wrote:Sounds like you are almost ready for the Hong point.

It is a logical progression, but something that takes time to master.

Re: More 8a.nu nonsense

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 3:15 pm
by SCIN
pigsteak wrote:ray, did some 13 year old girl just send your proj again, and go spray?

I am sorry. Come over for some comfort food if you'd like.
Piggie, I am fully aware of my place in the grand world of climbing. I am no different than the mustached guy scoring the occasional good run on the local bowling league or the sales guys talking about their great round of golf around the water cooler in the morning. If a 2 year old sent my project it would have no effect on me.

Re: More 8a.nu nonsense

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 4:54 pm
by pigsteak
lol...but andrew spraying about twinkie? do you have a man crush?