Team Safety now hiring

Post by **Johnny** » Tue Jul 15, 2003 2:18 pm

We're looking for motivated persons interested in public service who have experience with wetwork and avoiding prison. Salary negotiable based on experience. EOE.

Specifically, we've noticed climber type folks who are infringing on our inalienable right to the GPA (Golden Piton Award).

One individual, known only as "Hamsco", has been surreptitiously "exploring" areas of the Red that may or may not contain routes of necessary quality for Team Safety to acheive its ultimate goal (tearing down the established constructs within the climbing community that are propped up by Climbing Magazine and the "Western Bias"). He's been known to drive around in an SUV aimlessly in the Southern Region and elsewhere looking at virginal rock. Sometimes he is with co-conspirators.

A second suspect, who goes by the name of "Danny", is a master of disguises. At one time he used to have long hair and blended in nicely with the Grateful Dead crew. Recently, he altered his face by either surgery, or cutting his hair (still gathering intelligence on that issue). He is very dangerous because he hasn't been climbing forever, but he's putting up hard routes, both sport and trad. Rumor has it that he sent Images and liked it, but it didn't take him 2 years like it's supposed to. We're not sure if he's really evil incarnate, but he climbs too well, so we want him removed.

If you are interested in the position, please post to the board. If you have any sightings of these outlaws, let us know so we can keep the community safe. Vigilance is the only weapon we have.

Post by **CBP** » Tue Jul 15, 2003 6:16 pm

Buck-Wheats for both. Time and Materials? 8)

Post by **ynot** » Tue Jul 15, 2003 7:47 pm

You'll never take Danny alive, Copper. He will always be a step ahead of you.

Post by **Horatio Felacio** » Tue Jul 15, 2003 7:54 pm

i want the job fuckas!

Post by **ynot** » Tue Jul 15, 2003 8:04 pm

So who says its an inalienable right?

Post by **Johnny** » Tue Jul 15, 2003 9:18 pm

CPB, you sound like you're in the game. Since you're out west, how about a visit to the Climbing/R&I HQ and rough em up a bit.

ynot, it has to be an inalienable right because it doesn't sound right to call it an "alienable" right, does it?

HF, this could work out. I really doubt you would be convicted due to your compromised mental state.

Post by **hamsco** » Wed Jul 16, 2003 12:56 am

Johnny,
I know where your super,mega secret, blindfold only, "enthusiastic masocist" crag is located!!

Post by **CBP** » Wed Jul 16, 2003 12:58 am

sorry man, but climbing HQ is still too hot after the last op........never did i think that such a small amount of white-gas at the right moment could effect such a satisfactory....regime change.

hey- where's RRGCC's HQ??? any habitual a-holes there that need a fixin'?

Post by **ynot** » Wed Jul 16, 2003 1:21 am

My point is,why should you be the only one here in the running? Your talking covert action to eliminate the compitition here Johnny Harding.

Post by **Steve** » Wed Jul 16, 2003 1:31 am

Will be glad to sign on for nominal fee to document these 'achievements' on your quest for the GPA. Request only 50 or 60 grand for digital broadcast quality equipment. Might consider an 80 / 20 split on the royalties of the documentary.