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Recently I blew it at bolt 3 on 2 different routes during two trips to the gorge. I am talking about the ratio: length of fall/total height from ground = 0.98 or 0.99. My belayers during both events were exceptional: krampus and pawilkes. They did the right things to keep me safe. During the last incident my ankle probably came close to breaking. Overnight it developed strange small bump and it hurts to walk. I think I had a soft deck from 30-35 feet up.

I bet that some of you have had these experiences. What worries me the most--believe it or not-- is my emotional distance from these events. I am feeling that I have to force myself to be more careful and talk to my belay first about the first three bolts. But I am not scared and this makes me a bit apprehensive. Fear is self-preserving; I do not want to be my own worst enemy.

Anybody have anything related? How did you deal? Did you react differently than me as in you were too sketched to climb for a while or lost your lead head?

If I were Pigsteak I would have turned this into a poll. There are too many options for answers however . . . he would have found a way to do it anyway. Yeah . . . I think he is going to be my whipping boy from now on. Please don't thank me for not turning this into a poll, your silent gratitude is enough.

i've soft decked twice, where i ended up on my tiptoes on the ground. first was from 25feet and because of a new slick rope. second time was a light belayer. i kinda expected the second one to happen but not the first.both were exceptions.

i always feel a little sketched until i'm in the second/third bolt, especially if i have a light belayer. thats just the risk i've assumed going up. after the third bolt(in limits) i SHOULDN'T hit the ground. if i do, my belayer is getting it. falling clipping is scary to but just like the rodeo, you dust off and get back on the horse.

I have had one close call with a long run out in the NRG when I was younger. long story short I missed a clip and went for a long ride 25-30 feet and jamed both ankels really bad and could not walk much for a week. Back then I guess I was more thickheaded or invencable and got right back up. Now I am a little sissy man on the rock when I get to high up. I freak out and it's sketch city. The key for me is not to stop trying. I know there is this wall of fear that I can and will break down. You just have to resolve yourself to never stop moving and to keep trying to get past it. I think your fear will subside over time.

And like you said fear is a GOOD thing (in moderation) it can keep you safe and frosty. In 12 years of climbing I have had one close personal call and ZERO accidents or close calls with clients. I attribute that to my fear of heights and my overwelming need to be sure myself and the others with me are safe.

okay I'm rambling... my two cents for what its worth.

I always got a huge burst of adrenaline after all my dicey falls. I was pretty impressed that you did not even seem to be phased when you got back up to the same spot, remembering to clip first this time of course.

Maybe you're not that fearful because you know on average it is a rare event that you and your belayer are equipped to handle.

Almost all of my close calls have been when onsighting at my limit. Which is what you would expect. From the ground the line looks like it goes a certain way or you think you have the sequence only to find a hidden undercling that makes the clipping hold a right instead of a left, etc, etc... If I have been on the route before then I know what is coming and can decide to back off, or if I feel strong push and make the clip.

The other week though I was on that stupid ohio arts thing at Muir. The bottom pitch is quality, probably the best on the wall. The top thing is sketchy and if you fall before you clip the second you will smack the ledge no matter what your belayer does. Routes like that are usually when the fear kicks in for me. When I don't listen, I smack the ledge and hyperextend my knee.

You have climbed long enough that if the fear isn't kicking in when it used to then you are likely still safe. If you find it's taking longer and longer for you to lose focus on the climbing and instead focus on the fear then you are in a good place. I'm sure the pros get into situations where us mere mortals would be crapping our pants. They can just pull from experience and confidence and keep it together.

Like you said, some fear is good, but if you take some fear and add some more it's panic time and that is when you make bad decisions. Take advantage of the mental state you are in and see if you can push yourself.

Close calls always haunt me for a little while. When I was a gumby I almost rapped off the end of my rope at Seneca. That taught me to always check that both ends are on the ground. Last year someone I was climbing with decided it was a good idea to let this girl we had just met belay her. My friend was at the anchor and said take but this girl must have thought she heard off belay of more likely didn't know what the hell she was doing. After my friend say take, this girl drops the break end and starts to uncrew the locking biner. I was watching and as I saw her do that I screamed and drove for the break end of the rope. No one died and this girl disappeared shortly after. That haunted me for weeks and even now I find myself watching people belay. Which sucks because there is SO much dangerous belaying out there. Oh and last year I fell off a teeter-tooter on my mt bike and landed on my head breaking my helmet. That sucked and affected my riding for a week or so.

Climbing definitely has it's moments of soloing even though you are tied in. I am always thinking will I ledge or not. If yes, the leader must not fall. If not you can relax a little. But that's what makes climbing climbing. It's the ultimate sport!

man on that climb....F it. it's good but i look at the risk-vs-fun-injury. if injury outweighs the other two i move on. this game is for life and that's how i choose my battles.

ended up on a death slab top out the other day and couldn't back off and thats when don's only good advice comes into my head. "have faith in your abilities" wise old fucker he is.

I think as long as you keep an analytical vs. fearful mindset about the danger ahead you are ok. It's like knowing that ledge your climbing above will take out your ankles if you blow the clip above and approaching that portion of the climb with more of a 'seriousness' instead of being scared and second guessing yourself and your abilities. Fear just seems to increase the chances of failure rather than help keep you out of trouble- thats what the old brain is for. When I find myself freaking out I just have to be honest with myself and pony up or make the retreat- risk assessment.