RRC Archives

I think the primary reason for our countries divorce rate is due to two things
1) People marry the wrong people, and as a nation we seem to be doing this more rather than less.
2) Good economy. People can afford to divorce each other without starving to death.

Spragwa - we are going to counselling monday - don't know what to expect really - we'll probably wierd out the counsellor and they'll need help. Honestly - i'm pretty scared about counselling - what if they team up on me or something? ya know?

If your consellor teams up on you, you should probably find a different counsellor, but you may hear some things you don't like.

Andrew wrote:If your consellor teams up on you, you should probably find a different counsellor, but you may hear some things you don't like.

that's probably true - the latter - i know i got lots of problems always have. the pd pays for all of the sessions - that's the good part. this sort of problem is common to that kind of work i guess. it's common in my profession too.

Good luck, KD. I hope that things take a turn for the better. Props to you and your wife for seeking counselling, as I'm sure that's not an easy first step to take.

there's a marriage and family therapist who occasionally posts here who is a climber and understands that... maybe she'd be good to work with!

it's common in my profession too.

Most teachers I know (particularly male teachers) have serious marriage problems.

That's an interesting trend-- has there been any speculation as to why?

I have two theories, both which are likely to be wrong.
1) Money. When women marry a man with a college degree, they expect a certain level of material comforts, which a teaching salary can provide, assuming you have no hobbies, intrests, or any thing other than sitting at home doing nothing.
2) Because of reason one, the wife, if she wants to be able to have some money to buy said material comforts, would HAVE to work, which is different than simply choosing to work.
3) And because of the way our society is set up, it is a negative situation if the wife HAS to work in order to support the family, but a positive one if it is simply for extra, un-needed income.

So, reason one is just this: Money

But, I would like to pretend that women don't divorce over money (actually, I think it is the number one reason).

So here are some alternate theories.
1) Many, but not most teachers, develop these really annoying habits, like being detached (aka, having thick skin) which is REALLY bad for a marriage.

2) Teachers usually spend their weekends, evenings and such at school (if they are a coach, or involved in extra curricular activities). Hubby being gone 60-70 hours a week is bad for marriages.

3) As a society, the value of the profession is constanly reduced (thank you, republicans).

4) Women want a dragonslayer, not a babysitter.

thanks yas. huggy - i think that the stress comes from the service personality type of teachers and cops, etc. lawyers - drs. same type of stress. We create successful ways for people to be happy but fail to properly re-create ourselves. half of a marriage is on school schedule the other half is pulling ot on the midwatch and somewhere in between is the spot where we live. but then again - would we be happy working the nine-to-five at ford? - no way. buliding 1000 cars could never give the the satisfaction of teaching a 1000 people - ya know....