RRC Archives

A pirate walks into a bar
The bartender says: "Pirate, did you know that you have a ship's steering wheel in your pants?"

The pirate looks down and looks back at the bartender and says:
"AARRRGGHHHHHH! It's drivin me nuts!!"


God I love that joke....had to toss it in...

So Cletus is on his death bed. The doctor doubts he'll make it through the night. Cletus lays there, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the end to come when suddenly the most divine odor reaches his nostrils. It's fresh corn bread baking! Agonizingly Cletus climbs out of bed and shuffles slowly down the hall to the kitchen. There he sees his wife of forty years stirring a bowl full of batter, humming to herself and there, on the table, is plate of piping hot corn bread. Cletus lets go his hold on the door frame and drags himself to the table. Just as he's about to pick up a piece of the corn bread a wooden spoon raps across his knuckles and his wife says, "Cletus! Those aren't for you! They're for the funeral."

Bwa, haaaaa!

Guy walks up to some climbers:

"Mind if I jump on your rope."

"Sure, Dude, no problem, but why are you out here alone."

"Well, my wife died recently."

"Wow, Dude, that's a shame, but where are all your friends in your time of need?"

"At the funeral!"

So this redhead walks into the emergency room with tears in her eyes.

"Doctor, I hurt all over and I don't know what's wrong," she sobbed.

"What do you mean you hurt all over? You look fine," said the doctor.

"Well, when I touch my leg *ouch* it hurts. And when I touch my arm *ouch!* it hurts. *sniff* And when I touch my belly *owie!* it hurts!" she cried.

The doctor looked at her and said, "I know what's wrong with you and you'll be ok."

"Oh thank you, doctor! What's wrong with me?"

"First I think you've dyed your hair red and you're actually a blond, am I right?"

"Why yes, is that the problem, doctor?"

"No, the problem is that your finger is broken."