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Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 12:13 am
by pigsteak
lol..that from an economy that is 85% based on tourism...can't have your cake and eat it too, brah. NO would be a sludge pile of forgotten floating graveyards if it wasn't for tourism....

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 2:23 am
by Alan Evil
You know, in New Orleans the only people that actually get buried are the Jews. And that's only because they build raised, walled gravesites so they can get the proper amount of dirt on the coffins. You bury somebody in N.O. and the first big rain storm the coffin pops out of the ground like a submarine surfacing. A friend of mine, Boo LaCross, had a great line in a song of his: "Down in New Orleans we never bury our dead." He also wrote this great line: "The Streetcar Named Desire is now a Bus."

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 2:27 pm
by pigsteak
no doubt..those family plots where they cremate are intriguing...

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 6:49 pm
by overhung
This following poem is composed entirely of actual quotes from George W. Bush.

Make the Pie Higher

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen
And uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet
Become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish
Can coexist.

Families is where our nation finds hope
Where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!

Source: Richard Thompson

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 6:57 pm
by overhung
Here's another:

George W. Bush's Intelligence Quiz

While visiting England, George W. Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

"Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.

"Now look here Colin Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother, or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you dumb ass."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!" And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb ass, It's Tony Blair!"

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 7:13 pm
by rhunt
:lol:

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 7:45 pm
by Meadows
I just lost time in my life reading a bad joke.

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 9:18 pm
by overhung
Then stop reading.

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 9:23 pm
by overhung

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 12:01 am
by ynot
Hey! they finally started shooting lawyers. It's about time.