That was some funny shit!
Site Outage
I fell asleep at the keyboard trying to log on Redriverclimbing.com and had the strangest dream.
The site never came back up and noone could browse forums, flame at each other, sell their junk, or KEEP A TICK LIST! Climbers gradually drifted away from the Red and after a long time I went down to see what had happened. Miguel's was shuttered and abandoned, a few ragged tent scraps blowing in the back. Someone said he had relocated to the valley and opened Miguel's Big Wall Organic Pies with a shop on the summit of Half Dome; Dario was offering free base jump delivery...
They said Ray and Paul had gone to the desert and were free soloing hard 5.13 towers to put up microwave relays for their outlaw undernet network...
I drove to Military and strangely heard... nothing; no spray, no posing; all the chalk had washed off Sunshine and Moonbeam. There were strange plants growing along the crag base, then I heard the sound of a round being chambered so I turned and ran.
To Muir; the parking lot eerily empty. Started down the trail but was chased off by the roving bands of near-feral adolescent former climbers employed for sentry duty. They said Rick and Liz and Kipp were reshaping the landscape with their new top secret plasma boltatron.
Found out that Kris was holed up in the abandoned Cincinnati subway broadcasting rage rap over the outlaw net, Ray was carrying his signal, of course. 512 was staying strong by tearing chunks of concrete out of the walls.
On to PMRP, surely climbers there? A giant open pit coal mine had opened with a saloon and arcade in the Motherlode. Furtive wild-eyed former hard men in tattered Prana darted through at dark, stealing balogna sandwiches and pouring sand in the bulldozer fuel tanks. Hissing at me, they ran into the woods, sounded like "accessssss"
Heard that Governor Morgain was sequestered in Frankfort, surrounded by the KY National Guard who were holding off the federal troops after she declared Kentucky the "Free and Sovereign Human-Powered Commonwealth" and closed all the borders.
Larry sat alone in a room with a single candle muttering "Tower of Power, it's the Jungle Beat of Insanity's Ceiling and where has Sarah gone?"
Art was still sending, flashed a 5.12d, but nobody knew.
Andrew staged a hostile takover of ClimbTime.
Obama was still president.
I awoke with a start, wiped the cold sweat off the keyboard, and tried to log on one more time. Finally! It's back! There's Paul on Snooker again!
sorry,,,had to get it out of my head.
The site never came back up and noone could browse forums, flame at each other, sell their junk, or KEEP A TICK LIST! Climbers gradually drifted away from the Red and after a long time I went down to see what had happened. Miguel's was shuttered and abandoned, a few ragged tent scraps blowing in the back. Someone said he had relocated to the valley and opened Miguel's Big Wall Organic Pies with a shop on the summit of Half Dome; Dario was offering free base jump delivery...
They said Ray and Paul had gone to the desert and were free soloing hard 5.13 towers to put up microwave relays for their outlaw undernet network...
I drove to Military and strangely heard... nothing; no spray, no posing; all the chalk had washed off Sunshine and Moonbeam. There were strange plants growing along the crag base, then I heard the sound of a round being chambered so I turned and ran.
To Muir; the parking lot eerily empty. Started down the trail but was chased off by the roving bands of near-feral adolescent former climbers employed for sentry duty. They said Rick and Liz and Kipp were reshaping the landscape with their new top secret plasma boltatron.
Found out that Kris was holed up in the abandoned Cincinnati subway broadcasting rage rap over the outlaw net, Ray was carrying his signal, of course. 512 was staying strong by tearing chunks of concrete out of the walls.
On to PMRP, surely climbers there? A giant open pit coal mine had opened with a saloon and arcade in the Motherlode. Furtive wild-eyed former hard men in tattered Prana darted through at dark, stealing balogna sandwiches and pouring sand in the bulldozer fuel tanks. Hissing at me, they ran into the woods, sounded like "accessssss"
Heard that Governor Morgain was sequestered in Frankfort, surrounded by the KY National Guard who were holding off the federal troops after she declared Kentucky the "Free and Sovereign Human-Powered Commonwealth" and closed all the borders.
Larry sat alone in a room with a single candle muttering "Tower of Power, it's the Jungle Beat of Insanity's Ceiling and where has Sarah gone?"
Art was still sending, flashed a 5.12d, but nobody knew.
Andrew staged a hostile takover of ClimbTime.
Obama was still president.
I awoke with a start, wiped the cold sweat off the keyboard, and tried to log on one more time. Finally! It's back! There's Paul on Snooker again!
sorry,,,had to get it out of my head.
ancient gumby,
whatsa gumby?
whatsa gumby?
