Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 2:09 am
Ah, the best things in life are free for sure. It is the dinner, movie, 1/5 of jose, and X that cost so much...lordjim_2001 wrote:eh. all I know is that I won't pay for sex, for porn either.
Wes
Wes
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Going *Porn*fessional....
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Wes
Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 12:14 pm
Looks like Wes found the "free" part I was talking about.
Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 12:52 pm
What are you going to name the film? Here's a list of what has already been taken.
7. DUDE, WHERE'S MY DILDO ? - Bad movie, probably a bad porno based on a bad movie.
8. ULTRA KINKY #79 - BOWLIN' IN HER COLON - Bowling balls and colons, such a pretty image.
9. ASS-HOLE O MIO - You've got to be kidding.
10. HOMEGROWN VIDEO #489 : FUCK THE CANUCK - Trouble rhyming "bitch" today ?
11. BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE VAGINA - Kurt Russell should be so lucky ...
12. GOOD ASSTERNOON - I want to see a porno with really amazing dialogue. This won't be it.
13. BACKDOOR ADVENTURES OF BUTTHEAD AND BEAVER - Too obvious.
14. HINDFELD - A porno about nothing.
15. TEA BAGGER VANCE - Did anybody see the original movie ? Yeah, whatever.
16. MUSIC TO FUCK TO - ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES A LABIA - I would watch this if they actually got Lionel Richie to sing the new lyrics with a close-up shot of him crying.
17. GERANALMO - Sure, why not ?
18. BRASSIERE TO ETERNITY - You're reaching ...
19. TIG OL' BITTIES - Spoonerisms can be fun. Sometimes not.
20. MOULIN SPLOOGE - You saw this one coming ...
21. TITS OF FURY - ... but not this one ...
22. GERMAN WHORE FARE - Well, I groaned ...
23. SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN ... SHE'S A VAGITARIAN - Sigh ...
24. TOOKIE RAIDER - Tookie ? Tookie ??? You're just making up words now.
25. MUFFUGNUGEN - That's just lame, man.
26. PRIME CUTS - ONE FELL INTO THE POO-POO'S NEST - You went to college for this ?
27. FILTHY FUCKERS #184 - POKE 'ER MON - Who exactly is your target audience ?
28. RIMMERAMA - It does kind of roll off the tongue, though.
29. HOOTERS AND THE BLOWJOBS - Sometimes the music in porn movies is kind of interesting. Not this time.
30. HUNG WANKENSTEIN - Two, count 'em, TWO bad puns in one title ! I want this job !
7. DUDE, WHERE'S MY DILDO ? - Bad movie, probably a bad porno based on a bad movie.
8. ULTRA KINKY #79 - BOWLIN' IN HER COLON - Bowling balls and colons, such a pretty image.
9. ASS-HOLE O MIO - You've got to be kidding.
10. HOMEGROWN VIDEO #489 : FUCK THE CANUCK - Trouble rhyming "bitch" today ?
11. BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE VAGINA - Kurt Russell should be so lucky ...
12. GOOD ASSTERNOON - I want to see a porno with really amazing dialogue. This won't be it.
13. BACKDOOR ADVENTURES OF BUTTHEAD AND BEAVER - Too obvious.
14. HINDFELD - A porno about nothing.
15. TEA BAGGER VANCE - Did anybody see the original movie ? Yeah, whatever.
16. MUSIC TO FUCK TO - ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES A LABIA - I would watch this if they actually got Lionel Richie to sing the new lyrics with a close-up shot of him crying.
17. GERANALMO - Sure, why not ?
18. BRASSIERE TO ETERNITY - You're reaching ...
19. TIG OL' BITTIES - Spoonerisms can be fun. Sometimes not.
20. MOULIN SPLOOGE - You saw this one coming ...
21. TITS OF FURY - ... but not this one ...
22. GERMAN WHORE FARE - Well, I groaned ...
23. SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN ... SHE'S A VAGITARIAN - Sigh ...
24. TOOKIE RAIDER - Tookie ? Tookie ??? You're just making up words now.
25. MUFFUGNUGEN - That's just lame, man.
26. PRIME CUTS - ONE FELL INTO THE POO-POO'S NEST - You went to college for this ?
27. FILTHY FUCKERS #184 - POKE 'ER MON - Who exactly is your target audience ?
28. RIMMERAMA - It does kind of roll off the tongue, though.
29. HOOTERS AND THE BLOWJOBS - Sometimes the music in porn movies is kind of interesting. Not this time.
30. HUNG WANKENSTEIN - Two, count 'em, TWO bad puns in one title ! I want this job !
Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 12:59 pm
I just can't stop:
101) Jerk Your Cum Crayon And Color Me White - You kids play nice, now ...
102) Beverly Hills 9021-Ho ! - I can rhyme, too ! 9021-NO ! See ?
103) I Saw Mommy Eating Santa Claus - which caused the severe childhood trauma which led to a lifetime of doing nothing but watch pornos ...
104) 21 Hump Street - let me guess, starring Johnny Deep ?
105) Butt Nuggets - I can't find any info on this one
106) Sperms Of Endearment - Chick flick.
107) Yank My Doodle, It's A Dandy - I have three problems with this one : "Yank", "Doodle" and "Dandy". Otherwise, this title is fine.
108) Hairy Honies #11 - Furburgers - My cousin-in-law was telling the family about how when he was in university, someone discovered that for only $5 you could get a steak with all the trimmings at the local strip club. So if you went to the club, you could see a row of young guys cutting and chewing away, completely ignoring the stripper gyrating on the raised walkway in front of them. To which I had to reply, "Boy, I'd hate to find a hair in my food at that place."
109) Indiana Joan and the Black Hole of Mammoo - Six thousand years of human civilization and that's the best you could come up with ?
110) Big, Brown, Bomb Boo-Yow Booty, Brazilian Bitches - My soul hurts.
a) Shaving Ryan's Privates - It's a gay film. As I said above, I did not include any gay titles because they always make me giggle or extremely uncomfortable, and it would have doubled the number of titles I would have had to sort through. I am not gonna open the floodgates ...
b) Edward Penishands - Everybody recommends this one. As I said above, it pops up on everybody else's Best Porn Movie Title list because it is actually an awesome
101) Jerk Your Cum Crayon And Color Me White - You kids play nice, now ...
102) Beverly Hills 9021-Ho ! - I can rhyme, too ! 9021-NO ! See ?
103) I Saw Mommy Eating Santa Claus - which caused the severe childhood trauma which led to a lifetime of doing nothing but watch pornos ...
104) 21 Hump Street - let me guess, starring Johnny Deep ?
105) Butt Nuggets - I can't find any info on this one
106) Sperms Of Endearment - Chick flick.
107) Yank My Doodle, It's A Dandy - I have three problems with this one : "Yank", "Doodle" and "Dandy". Otherwise, this title is fine.
108) Hairy Honies #11 - Furburgers - My cousin-in-law was telling the family about how when he was in university, someone discovered that for only $5 you could get a steak with all the trimmings at the local strip club. So if you went to the club, you could see a row of young guys cutting and chewing away, completely ignoring the stripper gyrating on the raised walkway in front of them. To which I had to reply, "Boy, I'd hate to find a hair in my food at that place."
109) Indiana Joan and the Black Hole of Mammoo - Six thousand years of human civilization and that's the best you could come up with ?
110) Big, Brown, Bomb Boo-Yow Booty, Brazilian Bitches - My soul hurts.
a) Shaving Ryan's Privates - It's a gay film. As I said above, I did not include any gay titles because they always make me giggle or extremely uncomfortable, and it would have doubled the number of titles I would have had to sort through. I am not gonna open the floodgates ...
b) Edward Penishands - Everybody recommends this one. As I said above, it pops up on everybody else's Best Porn Movie Title list because it is actually an awesome
Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 7:51 pm
alien2, that is a pretty comphensive list, do you have a day job or just watch porn? 
boys, if you need to buy a woman a 1/5 of jose and X to get in her pants you might want to look elsewhere...Wes wrote:Ah, the best things in life are free for sure. It is the dinner, movie, 1/5 of jose, and X that cost so much...
Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 7:57 pm
Mia: First, are you considering a new job when you return to Lex?
Second, I doubt they'd look elsewhere, but they might want to consider what's wrong that it took a 1/5 jose and X.
Second, I doubt they'd look elsewhere, but they might want to consider what's wrong that it took a 1/5 jose and X.
Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 8:29 pm
i always keep my options open! 
Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 8:39 pm
8)
Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2004 12:57 am
As long as it's climber porn. There just isn't enough of that: http://images.google.com/images?q=climb ... a=N&tab=wi