A friend of a friend was climbing the Regular Route on Halfdome and was struck by a turd falling from high above. He was so disgusted by the event that he reportedly started rapping right then and there, then walked all the way back to the valley without even stopping to wash off.
Me and ol' Hackworth had just pulled onto sickle ledge on El Cap when the air was suddenly awash in the smell of fresh shit. Hackworth says "what's that?", looking up at climbers bivied damn near 2,000 feet directly above us I say "that Martin, was a near miss".
Another friend of mine was following the first pitch of a route on the West face of the Bastille in Eldorado when sudden unbearable cramps made it apparent that the previous night's mexican dinner would be parting company post haste. Well he quickly dropped trow and just hosed down one of the most beautiful pitches in the canyon. Said he felt pretty bad for the party that was making preparations to follow just as soon as he finished the pitch.
Chris Bonnington tells a story on himself where they were on one of his many expeditions and they had these really neat one piece down suits. You had to be careful though, because in order to take a dump you had to first unzip the front, pull your arms out, and then kind of tuck away the top part of the suit carefully while you squatted. Well he had a little accident, but wasn't aware of it until he put his suit fully back on and his arm pushed shit right out the end of one of the sleeves.
Saving the best for last, I know another guy who was doing the Bastille Crack (what is it with the Bastille, anyway?) when putting up with the the abdominal cramps he was suffering from, for even a second longer, was simply more than he could bear. Ripping off his harness and dropping his pants as quickly as possible, he squatted over the edge of the ledge and promptly pitched off headfirst - backwards! Screaming toward the deck a couple of hundred feed down his fall was dramaticaly arrested when he somehow got one foot tangled in a loop of rope they had left dangling from the belay stance.
Who flung dung?
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