why does marriage have to suck so bad?
Good luck KD. It's pretty dang cool that you are man enough to realize when you need help. I'm not sure what it takes to have a lasting relationship. This is my longest relationship without breaking up, cheating on each other, etc. I've heard people say that you can live with someone for a long time but the commitment of marriage is different. So far, this relationship has been easy. I want to be in it so any work is totally worthwhile. Marriage scares the fire out of me.KD wrote:Spragwa - we are going to counselling monday - don't know what to expect really - we'll probably wierd out the counsellor and they'll need help. Honestly - i'm pretty scared about counselling - what if they team up on me or something? ya know?
Anyway, We're with you man.
Jesus only knows that she tries too hard. She's only trying to keep the sky from falling.
-Everlast
-Everlast
thanks spragwa - this is my second marriage first one lasted 8 yrs. then met my current wife we've been together for 12 years - married for 10 - it's not bad really you jus have rough spots aka texture 
Wife is in law enforcement and caught me revisiting some little friends from the past - been going through a depression since my mom passed two years ago and romanticizing about ... an escape mechanism ... i used to turn to in my teen years. freaked her out - she told coworkers - freaked me out. am working on getting better though. keeping clean.
Wife is in law enforcement and caught me revisiting some little friends from the past - been going through a depression since my mom passed two years ago and romanticizing about ... an escape mechanism ... i used to turn to in my teen years. freaked her out - she told coworkers - freaked me out. am working on getting better though. keeping clean.
Yeah piggie, we're pretty gross in our domestic bliss. I'm constantly amazed that I still like him and that he still likes me.
KD, I had a pretty "interesting" adolescence myself. If I went back, I'd lose everything. I can imagine how awkward it is to have a sig. other in law enforcement when you've had that past. LOL. When I went to work for the State Police as their in-house counsel, they did an extensive background check. My best friend called me the next day to tell me that she was going to burn in hell for me. She lied to the detective about whether she'd personally witnessed any interesting behavior out of me in my misspent youth. He he he. If I ever apply for the DOJ, I'll just stick with friends who didn't know me in the bad ol days.
KD, I had a pretty "interesting" adolescence myself. If I went back, I'd lose everything. I can imagine how awkward it is to have a sig. other in law enforcement when you've had that past. LOL. When I went to work for the State Police as their in-house counsel, they did an extensive background check. My best friend called me the next day to tell me that she was going to burn in hell for me. She lied to the detective about whether she'd personally witnessed any interesting behavior out of me in my misspent youth. He he he. If I ever apply for the DOJ, I'll just stick with friends who didn't know me in the bad ol days.
Jesus only knows that she tries too hard. She's only trying to keep the sky from falling.
-Everlast
-Everlast
i went from drug to drug before i turned 21 - then switched to alcohol. by the time i was 24 i had to have beer for breakfast to stop shaking and drank all day to maintain - then partied all night - wild turkey and h2o were my fav's. it stopped the pain and was cheaper than drugs - and made withdrawl easier. quit drinking in 1981 stayed pretty clean. started some ... lesser problems several years ago for anxiety ....mom died and depression hit hard - marriage problems came around and i embraced an old comfort for awhile - it was/is dumb but i'm doing better. still haven't wanted to drink though - i'd lose everything if i did that 4-sure. i remember getting stopped by the cops in the 70's and 80's and having them tell me to drive slowly home while they followed me. now they put folks in jail and everything else.
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marathonmedic
- Posts: 1557
- Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2004 3:01 am
Sprag- Right after 9-11 the Pentagon, DOD, CIA, et al. were looking to greatly increase their manpower. One of the things I remember them saying was that they were looking for people to work for them, not saints. They specifically mentioned that they weren't going to get all worked up over minor indiscretions in the past. Would the DOJ or State take the same stance?
KD- Didn't this thread come up once before? What happened? It definately sounds like at least one of you isn't happy with something in their life and is taking it out on the other. I have no idea which of you that might be (if not both), but I hope you are able to find it and deal with it. It would be a shame to lose 12 years of work over something that may be fixable. Depression, money problems, boredom and who knows what all else can kill a relationship, and more importantly, they can all be fixed. As for the marriage councelling, I hope it works out for you. I would suggest that you leave your ego at the door though. Some of the things you said in here might be fine if you're venting, but if you don't take the blame for at least 50% of it, you're doomed. Best of luck to you both.
KD- Didn't this thread come up once before? What happened? It definately sounds like at least one of you isn't happy with something in their life and is taking it out on the other. I have no idea which of you that might be (if not both), but I hope you are able to find it and deal with it. It would be a shame to lose 12 years of work over something that may be fixable. Depression, money problems, boredom and who knows what all else can kill a relationship, and more importantly, they can all be fixed. As for the marriage councelling, I hope it works out for you. I would suggest that you leave your ego at the door though. Some of the things you said in here might be fine if you're venting, but if you don't take the blame for at least 50% of it, you're doomed. Best of luck to you both.
Ticking is gym climbing outdoors.
Marathonmedic - thanks for the input - I agree on the happiness factor and hope things work out for us too. Fifty (maybe 60) percent is my dissatisfation with life in general. But the ego...gotta keep most of that intact. I have a survivor ego - have had too always. I get into trouble and go deep inside to find the way out of it. My life has been an epic and i operate differently because of it. most of the time it's for the better - sometimes it's not. i know inherently that i'll/we'll be okay - jus gotta keep a clear mind. i'm not seeing the counsellor as a litmus test kind-of-a-deal though. if it works great! It's not gonna fix anybody though - me or her. It's gonna help some at best ya know.... Honestly it does scare the fuck out me though.