Two days after returning home from a week-long bouldering roadtrip in the Southeast, I found Jared with a long face. Stressed from work and depressed, he told me that we need to start planning our next climbing trip or he will go crazy. I reminded him that we haven't even unpacked the car of seven days worth of dirty laundry, but he wasn't comforted. Even thoughts of going back to Muir Valley the following weekend to start working on routes could not satiate him. And so, I conceded. I figured Valentines was just around the corner. It would be a good excuse to get out of town and go on a mini-vacation.
Every year, we try to climb someplace new and different. We were done bouldering for the season and flying out west was not an option, so we settled on the Natural State - Arkansas. The climbing area of choice: Horseshoe Canyon Ranch (which I affectionately dubbed Horseshit Canyon Ranch).
Early Friday morning, after a breakfast of bacon-egg-and-cheese bagels from the only McDonalds we could find, Jared and I drove the curvy mountain roads through the Ozarks. It was a beautiful sunny day, with the temps already in the high 40's. Less than an hour through the drive, Jared spotted a herd of about 50 elks grazing out in the fields running alongside the Buffalo National River. I can clearly see why they called it the Natural State, possums and groundhogs dart back and forth across the roads and white-tailed deer fleet through the meadows. You can easily feed a group of 25 dirtbag climbers for two weeks with the amount of roadkill you'll find in Arkansas!
The view as we descended on the quasi dirt road into the canyon was breathtaking.
Three hundred fifty acres of land, miles and miles of cliffline on both sides. I was revelling in the affluence of vertical sandstone but was immediately withdrawn from my daydreaming by what turns out to be a very common type of roadblock in Arkansas.
A real-life cowboy (complete with hat and boots!) came to our rescue and shoo-ed the horses away.
Rounding up the flagpole and off to the right sits the Geronimo Cabin. Our cozy little home for the entire weekend! The view from the porch is breathtaking.
We quickly settled in, donned our packs and hiked up to the western cliffs. On the hike up, we passed through the endless "Field of Turd". Here you'll find horseshit, goatshit, dogshit, birdshit, and of course, my favorite - a real, huge, steaming pile of bullshit. Real bullshit!
But enough with the shit...
Hiking past the Prophecy Wall all the way to the Confederate Cracks, we made our first stop at the Idaho Boulders where Jared sampled some of the local bouldering:
After that, we did some more hiking all the way to the Crackhouse Alley where we warmed up on a very interesting 5.8. Picture a beautiful 80 ft arete with a myriad of features. Now picture 5 bolts on that route. That's Hickedelic Jazzgrass - a very enjoyable route for moderate climbers, but I can only imagine how beginners feel when they get on this route!
Up next is the Titanic Boulder - home to the area's hardest sport route: Cradle of the Deep, a technical overhanging arete on the north end of the boulder. Here we did Squirrel Deck (enjoyable climbing on good holds up an arete), The Lookout (technical face climbing on the west side), and Cracked Rib (a very crimpy and short sport route that affords a great view of the ranch).
Over at The North 40 crag, we were amazed at the abundance of beautiful climbs. The color of the rock here is so vibrant, it just makes you stare in awe with your mouth agape. We quickly got on Cotton Candy (a super fun jug haul), Summer Rain (another jug haul), and Green Goblin (thin cracks/jugs up the buttress), before getting on the area classic, Lavender Eye. The climb, as Jared noted, was an easier version of his favorite Muir Valley route - Manifest Destiny. Technical but relatively easy face climbing, once you get on the roof though, watch out for the monster reach moves and pumpy finish.
With the sun racing quickly down the horizon, we decided to call it a day and check out the quaint little town of Jasper (7 miles west of HCR). A quick stop at the only grocery store gives us the most shocking revelation of our trip: we have to cross the state line to MO if we want to have any beer! WHA?!? It can't be?! Devastated by the discovery that all the nearby counties are dry, we drove round and round the small town and finally decided to just gorge on some italian fare (Spice O' Life - a nice little family-run bakery/pizzeria with scrumptious salads! Try the Rocky Italian!). Although we stood out like a sore thumb (Jared being his stinky self... haha), the locals were still very nice and friendly.
After dinner, we headed back to the cabin where Jared spent the next hour trying to build a fire in the stove/fireplace with what little supplies we had in hand. When he finally gave up and went to bed, little flames started licking the chopped wood, but we were both too pooped to enjoy it.
The next day, we awoke to a light drizzle. It was cold, wet and miserable outside, but we were still determined to sample the climbs on the other side of the canyon. We again crossed the endless Field of Turd, passed a mean looking bull (Jared to me: "If he starts charging, just drop your pack, run as fast as you can and climb on the boulders!).
When we finally reached the Roman Wall, the light drizzle has turned into a full blown rainfall accompanied by howling winds. We decided to stick to a couple of easier routes since everything else was soaking wet: Aphrodite and Sybarite
While Jared was leading Sybarite, a startling sight emerged just a few yards away from where I was standing:
I freaked out at first (these guys looked mean!), but Jared hurried to finish his lead, asked to be lowered and walked over to the herd - showing me that they're not as mean as they look. Which proved to be correct since they started scampering off when Jared got to about 5 yards of them. Apparently, they thought Jared was more mean looking!
After inhaling a couple of ham and cheese sandwiches for brunch, we hiked over to Magoo Rock to check out Monkeys on Magoo but the rock was sopping wet. Jared was devastated. The clouds haven't cleared and it looked like we will have to quit for the day; so off we go, back through the Field of Turd and to our cabin.
View of the ranch and The North 40 crag:
We decided to drive back to Jasper to check out Emma's Museum of Junk, the local outfitters, and to grab some grub at the Ozark Cafe.
Emma's Museum is a must-do for a rest day. The place is crammed full of odd items. We ended up crossing the road to the ATM to get some more cash out to pay for our cheap finds.
Deciding on a late lunch spot at Jasper wasn't hard. Across from the county courthouse, on a small square boasting several more antique shops, is the Ozark Cafe. Originally opened in 1909, it is, as the sign on the front says, "A North Arkansas Landmark." It's a place where you can get a good plate of inexpensive food and tall frothy glasses of milkshakes and chocolate malts.
With nothing else to do for the rest of the afternoon, we decided to take the scenic drive up Highway 7 to Branson MO for some entertainment and, of course, some beer. Halfway through the twisty drive to the state border, 7 took a few turns and passed by the historic downtown district of Harrison. Here we decided to just stay in the area and look for a cinema. We ended up watching Hitch which turned out to be an extremely hilarious movie.
Sunday morning, our last day at the ranch, we again awoke to thick clouds. No rain this time, just howling winds. We hiked back up to The North Forty and was accompanied by a very friendly pup who followed us wherever we went.
Unfortunately, wherever and everywhere we went was still soaking wet from the storm the night before. Jared scoped out the rest of the area and took some mental notes on must-do climbs for our return trip.
I must say, climbing in HCR is one of the most plush 3 days of my climbing life. It is definitely a great winter destination, albeit the rain that drenched us for a day and a half. I was bummed out that we couldn't climb anything on our last day, but needless to say, I was happy to cross the Field of Turd for the last time in a long time. Jared on the other hand, decided to leave his own contribution to the "piles", much to the chagrin of our furry new friend!
Anyway, the shit does not really stop there. As soon as we stuffed our packs and luggages in the trunk of our abused Ford rental, the sun starting playing peek-a-boo through the clouds. We figured we should make the most out of our trip and so made a few more fun stops along the way to the airport: the limestone cliffs of the Buffallo National River,
the Elk Education and Preservation Center in Ponca,
and the Lost Valley trail in Boxley where we hiked a couple of miles through a hardwood forest featuring waterfalls, cascading creeks, towering cliffs, interesting canyon bluff formations, and a natural bridge.
We finally make it to Arkansas Northwest Regional Airport with 50 minutes to spare, only to find out that our flight has been cancelled. No way to get back in Indy that night. It was not gonna happen.
Well, we figured we're lucky since now we're forced to take another day of vacation. I wish we had the time to drive back to HCR to do a couple of climbs or maybe even to Oklahoma to do some bouldering. But sunset isn't far off and we were a little hesitant to drive anywhere for more than an hour.
Suddenly, Jared's face lit up. I almost expected him to run around the airport terminal naked, shreaking "Eureka, eureka, EUREKA!". From reading the latest issue of Urban Climber mag, he read an ad about a local climbing gym that boasts 14,000+ sqft of climbing with a 7 1/2 stories tall outdoor wall. Guess we know what we're doing that night.
We visited the gym and although we got there with less than an hour before closing time, the very friendly owner (Richard Ruhland), gave us a welcoming discount and let us climb for a little bit longer. The gym is another must-see/do if you are in the Fayetteville area. The downtown also had a lot of great restaurants and the best part of it all: they serve BEER!
So, see, shit does happen, but I guess it happens for a reason. A lot of good reasons!
But I might have to!
)