Lawyer Jokes

Post by **busty** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 3:49 am

Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer

He tells you that his last good case was a Budweiser.
When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
He tells you that he has never told a lie.
A big sign in his office says: "Don't ask me."
A prison guard is shaving your head.

Post by **Jonathan** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 4:28 pm

Damn Dingo, I just found those same excerpts last night and was going to post 'em. Early Dingo get the worm.

Post by **squeezindlemmon** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 5:08 pm

How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer?
She has an extreme craving for baloney.

Post by **squeezindlemmon** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 5:08 pm

Okay, that last one was bad.

Post by **squeezindlemmon** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 5:19 pm

A man took a trip to the RRG after a harrowing divorce proceeding. He stopped at a bar in Lexington on his way, and after a few drinks stated to no one in particular, “Lawyers are horses’ asses.”

Hearing this, one of the locals spoke up: “Mister, watch what you say. You’re in horse country.”

Post by **busty** » Thu Jan 13, 2005 2:17 am

Q: Whats the difference between a lady lawyer and a Pitbull?

A: Lipstick

Post by **busty** » Thu Jan 13, 2005 2:23 am

How was copper wire invented?

Two lawyers fighting over a penny

Post by **TradMike** » Thu Jan 13, 2005 3:20 pm

No way, two people were arrested for telling lawyer jokes.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6818054/?GT1=6065

Post by **busty** » Thu Jan 13, 2005 4:09 pm

These guys had to have been doing something more than just telling jokes. Do you REALLY think that the police would arrest people just for making fun of lawyers? I seriously doubt it.

Post by **ynot** » Thu Jan 13, 2005 7:17 pm

They are part of an anti-lawyer group.Still it sounds like a first amendment breech.