no honor401! that was the most beautiful joke ever! don't downplay the beauty of what mainstream calls "bad humor" when what they are really envious of is the beauty of the simplicity of the joke.
viva la chiste facile!
Random Jokes! Lets Hear em'
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squeezindlemmon
- Posts: 1452
- Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2004 7:02 pm
Ole People's Football (just in time for football season):
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7."
Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."
Now the pressure's on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he has, but instead of farting, he poops the bed.
The wife looks and says, "What the hell was that?"
The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides."
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7."
Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."
Now the pressure's on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he has, but instead of farting, he poops the bed.
The wife looks and says, "What the hell was that?"
The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides."
Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our mind. ~Bob Marley
A man in Alaska leaves Baskin Robbins to find that his car won't start!
After the inspection, the mechanic says, "Looks like you blew a seal!"
"Nah," he replies, "That's whipped cream!"
An older man asked some young climbers if he could hop on their rope. They said sure and asked him why he was climbing alone.
"I climbed with my wife," he said sadly, "but she died."
The kids said surely he had some other climbing buddies.
"Sure I do," he replied, "but they're all at the funeral!"
After the inspection, the mechanic says, "Looks like you blew a seal!"
"Nah," he replies, "That's whipped cream!"
An older man asked some young climbers if he could hop on their rope. They said sure and asked him why he was climbing alone.
"I climbed with my wife," he said sadly, "but she died."
The kids said surely he had some other climbing buddies.
"Sure I do," he replied, "but they're all at the funeral!"
What I love about running is you can meditate while running. It's a peaceful place.
Sister Mary Elizabeth Lloyd, Runs marathons to raise money and awareness about children orphaned by AIDS
Sister Mary Elizabeth Lloyd, Runs marathons to raise money and awareness about children orphaned by AIDS
A banana walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender refuses.
The banana asks why and the bartender replies, "We don't serve food."
The bartender refuses.
The banana asks why and the bartender replies, "We don't serve food."
I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
- Robert McCloskey
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- Emo Philips
- Robert McCloskey
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- Emo Philips
An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: "There are only nine words here. You could send another Woof for the same price." "But," the dog replied, "that would make no sense at all."
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young'n climber
- Posts: 1257
- Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2003 8:31 pm
Meadows wrote:What you hear in golf: [Whack!] ... "Shit!"
What you hear in climbing: "Shit!!!!" ... [Whack!]
No offense to the mayorTheMayor wrote:What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad free soloist?
a bad golfer goes: WHACK, "damn!"
a bad free soloist goes: "damn!", WHACK!
i found it funny
Alan Evil is a whiney fucking bitch.
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The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.
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The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.
