Random Jokes! Lets Hear em'

Movies, music, food, blood, dogs, Horatio.....
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dipsi
Posts: 4217
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2002 9:54 pm

Post by dipsi »

Tomdarch,

Hence my high forehead :shock: ! No lie, one of my family trees branches back to the same Grandfather two ways! Scary. And yes, blue blood abounds. The Howards (royal, though run out of England) did not marry out of the Howard family until my great Aunt Bea's (yeah, I've heard the Mayberry jokes) mother broke the short DNA chain and married out of the family. She was banned from the family until Aunt Bea married my uncle George Howard and all was happy again. Weird bunch!
What I love about running is you can meditate while running. It's a peaceful place.

Sister Mary Elizabeth Lloyd, Runs marathons to raise money and awareness about children orphaned by AIDS
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kclimb
Posts: 106
Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2003 2:57 pm

Post by kclimb »

how do you post a picture here? I have something funny to share...
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TradMike
Posts: 1173
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2002 2:57 am

Post by TradMike »

How to catch a Polar Bear:

First you cut a hole in the ice
Then you place peas all around the hole
Then you wait for a polar bear to approach
Once the polar bear comes up to take a pea
Kick him in the ice hole
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Wes
Posts: 6530
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2002 3:46 pm

Post by Wes »

Old one:

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming like the four people riding in his car"

One with a lesson, from the classic movie "Colors"

There was once two bulls, one father, one son, sitting on a hill overlooking a herd of nice, "Corn fed" cows. The son says "Hey dad, lets run down there and fuck one of those cows!!" And the father says "No son, lets walk down there and fuck them all".


Wes
"There is no secret ingredient"

Po, the kung fu panda
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JB
Posts: 1228
Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2003 8:36 pm

Post by JB »

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
a stick

where do you find a dog with no legs?
right where you left it
[size=75]i may be weak, but i have bad technique[/size]
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dipsi
Posts: 4217
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2002 9:54 pm

Post by dipsi »

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Stay!
What I love about running is you can meditate while running. It's a peaceful place.

Sister Mary Elizabeth Lloyd, Runs marathons to raise money and awareness about children orphaned by AIDS
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JB
Posts: 1228
Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2003 8:36 pm

Post by JB »

What do you call a dog with no legs?
whatever you want, it ain't coming.
[size=75]i may be weak, but i have bad technique[/size]
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meetVA
Posts: 1883
Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2003 4:13 pm

Post by meetVA »

What do you call a boring musician?


-Yanni.

young'n, just in case, this is a similar trick as to the "would I?"
I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
- Robert McCloskey

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- Emo Philips
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Jeff
Posts: 2859
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2002 6:40 pm

Post by Jeff »

A guy sits down at the bar,
bartender: "Whaddya' have?"
guy: "A bud light"
bt: "Busch lite's on sale for $0.50"
guy: "I can't drink that stuff, gimme a bud lite"

20 minutes later

g:"Another Bud lite"
bt:"Man, Busch lites only 50 cents."
g:"I can't drink that stuff. It makes me blow chunks"
bt:"Hey, everybody blows chunks every now and then, it's no big deal. You could save a bunch of money"
g:"Dude, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog!" :mrgreen:
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honor401
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 6:05 pm

Post by honor401 »

What time is it when you have to go to the dentist...

2:30

get it...tooth-hurty...get it

awww s****w it...that jokes is even worse written out... :?
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