WWWD - What Would Wes Do

[tomdarch]

Rent a chick filled porno and take notes.

Arrgh! My image of the great guru Wes has been shattered. Mahatma Wes does not know all! (Almost all tongue work in porn is exaggerated dog lapping for the camera. In reality, it's all about the careful focus and delicately varied pressure and speed...)

If you have any other questions, like why you should have an OS X powerbook, instead of that crappy dell, feel free to ask.

Ah Ha! The guru has redeemed himself! His great wisdom pierces through the veil of shit of our temporal world to see the gleaming truth of true beauty!

Merrick, I am sorry you seem to care about "clients" and "testing". You are way to into caring about stuff like that. I mean, what is the meaning of life? It is knowing that nice silver powerbook loves you. And you love it. You can't put a price on that. And, besides, you can RDC into a 2k or 2k3 box anytime, and still have OS X...

Arrgh! The guru appears to be ignorant of VirtualPC (which allows the installation of various 'unclean' MS OSes (even allowing the user to enter the most horrible levels of hell, such as "Windows ME") plus various Linux OSes, all within the PowerBook's aluminum-lined slice of heaven on earth). Thus one can have a multi-boot system "out the second chakra", so to speak, and be largely protected from the 'demons' of the unenlightened realms of "Windows" (Plus, the Mac mail client's spam filtering is fucking great!)

NOOOOOO! Without my guru to dictate the ansers to all of life I may have to start thinking for myself!

Speaking metaphorically, "when you meeet the Wes, you must kill the Wes..."

[Horatio Felacio]

wes, i have a problem deciding whether to use a dildo or a cucumber for anal stimulation. i just woke up and my mind is groggy. what would wes do?

[lordjim_2001]

<wes voice>

Well Ho you should look at it in an economical perspective. With the cucumber you will eventually will have to get a new one because it will rot, or you'll get hungry and eat some of it, and no longer fit will in your gaping asshole. With the dildo it will last much longer due to the material used in its construction. Therefore Ho, you should go with the dildo.

</wes voice>

[Wes]

LordJim, please STFU.

Ho, I will get back to you on that once I do some testing.

Wes

[Guest]

isn't this SCIN's area of expertise?

[lordjim_2001]

Wes, at least say that made you chuckle a little bit

[Wes]

LordJim, I did not ever read the shit you posted trying to be clever. A wise man once asked, "How is that working for you, being clever that is?" I have the answer for you: It isn't. People like you need help, and today must be your lucky day, as I am going to give you some advice. And I am going to try to keep is simple. STFU. See how easy that was? You just need to shut up, then all your problems will go away.

Sandy, I thought you were the expert on such things? I know you claim to still have your ass cherry, but I think you are just saying that to cover up. You know what you like. I know what you like. You know that I know what you like. So just get it out it the open that you like butt sex. You will feel better, and I have no doubts you will get some offers from people on this BBS.

Next.

Wes

[Guest]

Wes, I'm starting to doubt your qualifications for this advice column. You know damn well that my intact ass cherry is one of the most sought after sends in the boldering community. How else do you think I got this huge Lloyds of London insurance policy on it??

[Wes]

Ha, I hear it is more like v2+, and only two stars.

Please, you can only keep the lie up for so long. After awhile people start talking, and then everyone knows that he/she wasn't the one to take your ass cherry. You use it as a selling point: "Oh, you are so special and cool, I want you to have my ass cherry. Oh, and please buy me stuff." We are wise to your tricks.

Wes

[Guest]

sandbagger