Your approach is interesting to me. I have always taken a different tact. My thought is to keep things more balanced. You want to give kudos when they are due, but not over the top. As Meadows stated, they start to put the value in the success itself because that is the only place where they are being rewarded. I try to be encouraging, not over dramatic (i.e. Johnny, you learned to tie your shoes!!!!! Just in time for your 14th birthday party!!!).Clevis Hitch wrote:I think that you gotta only praise their successes. You also gotta lament their failures. Don't give your kid the same kudos for failure as you do success. It gives them a false sense that will come crashing with the introduction to the real world. Thats it. Thats all I want to say about it.
Also, I don't think lament is the word for me here. To me, lament means you are sad or regretful about something. I'm not sure it is helpful to be that emotionally invested in the act of failure. Instead I try to point out where the process broke down, prop him back up and encourage him to try again.
One thing I try to be mindful of though, is that I don't want to further the participation trophy mentality. There is value in winning, there is value in success, but it is not the only thing that is valuable in life. Hard work pays off, sometimes easy work pays off too, but you can't let yourself get too high or too low as a result of it.
