What was said earlier about returning to the place you decked is true. You really cannot help yourself. It eats at you. I decked once while free soloing. It scared the shit out of me. I must have been 10, maybe 20 inches off the ground. It happened so fast, but my whole life flashed before my eyes. I'm lucky to be alive. After that, I knew my life couldn't return to normal until I conquered the route. But once I did and could proudly say I could master the route to the top bunk of my son's bed, an enormous weight was lifted. Now I feel as though I can quit free soloing with my head held high...I'm such a badass!