Ridiculous comments from 8a.nu

Post by **krampus** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 1:32 pm

hahahahahahaha

Post by **rustyvasectomy** » Tue Sep 22, 2009 1:43 am

Basically, becoming an 8a superstar is a easy 3 step process. Harness these three steps and you will be able to bask in the glory/naked chicks that 8a champions get by the truckload.
Go to a popular cliff below your level and do these three steps.
1. Climb all the established routes. Log each route as a number grade harder than it actually is (i.e. 12a=13a). Be sure to click the box for soft, and mention the softness of the route in the comment.

Example: Chainsaw Massacre, 13a. Soft. Comment: SOFT SOFT VERY SOFT felt like 12a to me!!!

2. Once step 1 is complete, begin to attempt every possible linkup on the wall. There is limitless potential here (10 routes each 10 bolts long allow about
17,310,309,500,000 different 10 bolt permutations (routes)).
3. Each time you complete a linkup, suggest a higher grade once again. However, this time the comment should look like this.
Name: Ultimate Awesomeness, 13b. Hard, FA Comment: Climb the bottom of chainsaw and finish on Ale 81. 13b for me

Note: the "13b for me" line is very important because subsequent ascents may downrate your route. However, they are not you so their opinion does not apply.

Post by **Barnacle Ben** » Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:34 pm

I know it's not 8a.nu (it's even worse), but I only recently discovered ascent logs on rockclimbing.knob. I love where people record a 'hang-dog' ascent, then down-rate the grade. What the fuck.

Post by **bentley** » Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:05 pm

I like watching people hang there way to the top of the Madness Cave. A good season lasts 50+ min. and then while they are being lowered report to there belayer that there aren't really any hard moves with this tone of question in there voice like "wow that was easy for the grade".

Needless to say they never get back on that route and go find something much easier.

Post by **Wes** » Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:13 pm

bentley wrote:I like watching people hang there way to the top of the Madness Cave. A good season lasts 50+ min. and then while they are being lowered report to there belayer that there aren't really any hard moves with this tone of question in there voice like "wow that was easy for the grade".

Needless to say they never get back on that route and go find something much easier.

Not limited to hard routes - I have seen many, many people hanging at the 2nd or 3rd bolt of sunshine saying "it isn't hard, just pumpy."

Post by **bcombs** » Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:19 pm

Wes wrote:I have seen many, many people hanging at the 2nd or 3rd bolt of sunshine saying "it isn't hard, just pumpy."

Hahaha.. I'm almost positive I have said that about that very route!

Post by **bentley** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 12:04 am

"If that ##%$ sloper had been a mother $#%^ piece of $%$# jug I would have onsighted this $%$# piece of $%$# $%#$ route. EXPLICATE!!!!!!!!!!

I wish they would have taken there shoes off and thrown them. That would have been cool!

Post by **Toy** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 1:47 am

I wish they would have taken there shoes off and thrown them. That would have been cool!

Danny Robinson and Zeb used to have some of the best shoe-throwin' episodes ever. Zeb had an especially good arm. I saw him chuck a (practically) brand new pair of lasers from the top of Stay the Hand. Must of gone 40 yards down the hill. The best part was watching the wheels turn as the realization sunk in that he'd have to go find them. Both of 'em!

He did that a lot from the top of Tissue Tiger also, but it didn't have the same effect. Just too easy to find.