Jokes and jokes and jokes

Post by **heidiramma** » Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:52 pm

MARIJUANA FILLED FIREWOOD -

'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?'

'Yes. What can I do for you?'

'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith...He's hidin'
Marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there..'

'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'

The next day, twelve Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They
search the shed where the firewood is kept.

Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.
They sneer at Virgil and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.

'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd.....Did the Sheriff come?'

'Yeah!'

'Did they chop your firewood?'

'Yep!'

'Happy Birthday, buddy!'

(Rednecks know how to git-R-dun).

Post by **Crankmas** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 5:59 pm

new tax on aspirin...

its white and it works

Post by **TradMike** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 12:28 am

This blonde breaks down on the side of the highway and goes to her trunk and takes out two life size cardboard cutouts of two naked men dressed in trench coats. After many cars passing and honking a patrolman pulls up and gets out and ask the lady what the hell she was doing with two naked cardboard cutouts.

Duh - emergency flashers!

Post by **TradMike** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 12:29 am

On the other hand I have 5 different fingers

Post by **TradMike** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 12:30 am

This naked blonde walk into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. The bartender says I guess you won't be needing a drink.

Post by **TradMike** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 1:35 am

Whoa, I need to stop joking. Have you ever said something and then it kind of comes true?

http://www.freep.com/article/20090320/N ... th+assault

Post by **_Rasputin** » Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:57 pm

George Bush, Donald Rumsfeld, and Condoleezza Rice are sitting in the oval office circa 2006.

Bush: â€œWeâ€™all got to figer out this Iraq war thingy. I mean weâ€™ze all smart people here right? Like you Condy, whereâ€™d you go to college?â€

Post by **anticlmber** » Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:02 pm

why do women like old gynecologists??

shaky hands.

whats the smartes thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth??

einstien's dick.

what do they call that useless flap of skin on the end of a penis??

a man.

Post by **Jay** » Sat Jul 11, 2009 5:09 pm

Couldn't decide if this belonged in the link thread or the joke thread, so here you go:

http://www.helenkellersimulator.com/

Post by **krampus** » Sun Jul 12, 2009 3:12 pm