limericks - lets here em

Post by **merrick** » Mon Aug 25, 2003 10:26 pm

silly little fag ho declared his love for me
but he wouldn't take no for an answer you see
so he offered me lots of cash
to do him in the ass
so his dick could swell from the size of a pin to a golf tee

but merrick still told ho no thanks, but no
ho grew desperate and offered 100 free blows
he knocked out his front teeth
and made his mouth into the shape of a wreath
and he quivered in anticipation like jello

but merrick was not to be swayed
ho grew depressed and walked around in a daze
so he threatened me online
and acted like a bitchy little swine
and arranged a fight at migeuls in his craze

the night of the fight finnally came
ho's face never again looked the same
ho swung and hit
but his puches felt like spit
one punch knocked ho out, how lame

now ho is a cheap crack whore
toothless and covered in sores
he charges only a dollar
and wears a dogs collar
and don't ask him what the butt plug is for

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 12:23 am

what a riot!!!

Post by **Horatio Felacio** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 12:37 am

merrick oh merrick my lovely toy
your reply brings me sorrow and not joy
i'm afraid you're gonna loose this brawl
along with any contests involving alcohol
you little fucking fag for a boy

i was only joking up above
but you seem to think i was speaking of true love
i'm not a homo, nor a queen
and i'm not about to be your little love fiend
but if i find you at the edge of a cliff, i'll give you a shove

but i don't want to be to hasty
i might find a bite of merrick to be quite tasty
i'll dissect you like a frog in 8th grade science
and your weak little hands will do no good for defiance
as i rape your ass which is oh so pasty

you'll still be alive and be able to hear,
you'll be able to see and smell yourself sear
you're gonna be tied to a grill
and my stomach you will fill
i'm gonna eat you merrick and then drink beer

you're meat and flesh will be all gone
and the feast i will have will be all done
your small little bones will erected in to a cross
and i'm gonna use your leftover intestines for floss
but don't worry merrick, the fun has just begun

i'll get drunk as fuck and puke on the crucifix
so i can add your chewed up meat in to the mix
i'm gonna sew you back together
to make a doll to look at forever
so i can have your dirty ass for my dick

you'll be raped for the rest of my life
while i pretend to stab your head with a knife
if your soul wasn't rotting in hell, you'd know true sadness
but don't worry fuckwad, you'll bring me much happiness
especially when i make you my wife

as you can see now
i'm am anything but your pal
you better run and hide you shit ball
cause when i catch you, you'll meet mr. tablesaw
and it's to the grill you motherfuckin fat sow.

Post by **ynot** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 6:17 am

Ho was a man of many talents
only one of wich was balance
he hung up his shoes
and now hes all fucky
cause he already sent kentucky

Post by **canadaclimbergirl** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 12:00 pm

this is great. Ho, Merrick .....you guys are gonna win a friggin Pulitzer.

here is mine:

There was an elephant from hilly Tibet.
In his cage one day wouldn't get
His keeper quite near
Rammed a hose up its rear
and invented the first Jumbo Jet.

Post by **Spragwa** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 12:55 pm

This thread must be published!!!!!!!!

Post by **Christian** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 1:27 pm

Dear God in heaven make them stop

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 2:10 pm

there once was a bull named Joe
Who tried to touch his toe
As he passed his cock
He decided to stop
And give it a little blow!

Post by **merrick** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 6:46 pm

little fag ho has upped the ante
but the wus has shit stains on his panties
he tries to act hard
but he played his last card
no amount of viagra can harden his limp dick, see

you think i am playin
like a fat donkey your brayin
i bring the smack down
rip out your sphicter clown
better not ask me to do your belayin

lets start with his disgrace of a face.
looks like it was smashed with a mace
snicker snack i cut his eyballs out
feel free to scream cause no one can hear you shout
sewed the hollow holes up with thread from my sewing case

your ryhmes are never clever
your pulmonary artery i sever
i slice your hamstrings
leave you in casts and slings
i drop boulders on your head and use your corpse for a lever

i watch you beg for mercy
screaming like a bitch and cursing
breakin each one of your fingers
put salt on your wounds so the pain lingers
i instruct you in the ways of pain you see.

i'll rip your shit and split your lip
don't slip on the blood you drip
like a bitch you will scream
of pain you will dream
to finish you off i use a judo flip

i dissect you while you are still awake
replace your real organs with one that are fake
as you submit to me
i giggle with glee
force you to eat the liver pie i baked

i genetically modify your dna
to see your twisted remains people will pay
when they see you they gasp in fear
in the place of your face they see your rear
"please stop, i give up" you say

i pound nails through the ends of your limbs
tie strings and make you dance at my whim
you are my pathetic slave
i control how you behave
fucking with me has made your situation grim

now your ass is my new broom holder
you think i will show mercy, but i am colder
i cut holes in your back
spinal fluid i extract
like Aron Ralston i crush your limbs with a boulder

each one of your limbs will be removed by amputation
i finish you off, snip snip, with castration
now look at you
what can you do
bleed, suffer, and die in frustration

Post by **merrick** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 6:49 pm

horatio and I can be booked to do dramatic readings of our poetry this fall at miguels. for an extra fee we will act them out through interpetive dance. feel free to bring your children to this cultural event.