Jokes and jokes and jokes

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discojett
Posts: 202
Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2002 7:25 pm

Post by discojett »

A blonde walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says,
"Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"
He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"
Southern Utah - Where the women are men and the sheep are scared
Like This
Posts: 97
Joined: Sat Sep 24, 2005 1:44 pm

Post by Like This »

Guy's on a trad climb, a good ways up.
Yells down to his belayer and says, "I don't have any more friends, and my nuts are too small."

**slaps knee** Aaaaah, good ol' trad gear jokes.
"When you feel something, don't just yell 'STRIKE!' and then pull out. Leave your probe where it is." -JH

I love you too, Ray!!
discojett
Posts: 202
Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2002 7:25 pm

Post by discojett »

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said, 'Have you ever had a hug?'

The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The second woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'

The man said 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The third woman came to him and said, 'Have you ever been f@#$l#d?'

The fellow said 'No.'

She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in.'
Southern Utah - Where the women are men and the sheep are scared
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krampus
Posts: 3933
Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2006 9:31 am

Post by krampus »

A man and his wife are at the state when when they come across this prize winning bull that gets bred 200 times a year. The woman turns to her husband and sais "200 times a year, wow, hunny, you should talk to this bull, ya know maybe get a little motivation, learn a thing or two."
The man the looks at his wife and sais "yeah, thats one hell of a bull, but you know it wasn't all with the same cow."
How you compare may not be as important as to whom you are compared
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krampus
Posts: 3933
Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2006 9:31 am

Post by krampus »

Man sais to his friend at the bar:
"I think my wife is dead"
"What do you mean 'you think'"?
"Well, the sex is the same, but the dishes are piling up"
How you compare may not be as important as to whom you are compared
Blue Shoes
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue May 27, 2008 10:24 am

Post by Blue Shoes »

What are the two biggest lies guys tell girls?

-I won't cum in your mouth.

and

-I'm sorry i came in your mouth.
anticlmber
Posts: 3393
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2003 12:34 am

Post by anticlmber »

i'm going to be a male nurse.

thats it, thats the joke.
Wolf
Posts: 363
Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2005 1:14 am

Post by Wolf »

a punchline on an already hilarious (in a tragicomic way) life.
http://contributor.yahoo.com/user/496691/daniel_beck.html
anticlmber
Posts: 3393
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2003 12:34 am

Post by anticlmber »

what do puppies and gynecologists with bad eyesight have in commen??

wet noses.




why do women like old gynecologists??

shaky hands.
Like me on facebook but hate me in real life
ScrmnPeeler
Posts: 223
Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2002 5:46 pm

Post by ScrmnPeeler »

Two engineering students meet on campus one day.

The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey -- nice bike! Where did you get it?"

"Well," replies the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all her clothes, and says 'You can have ANYTHING you want!'"

"Good choice!" says the first, "Her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway."
So, you're a feminist...isn't that cute.
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