exposed

Post by **Horatio Felacio** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 2:03 am

so we all know this fuckball spragwa is extremely homosexually retarded and takes it in the poop shoot constantly, but i saw something this weekend that takes that crap to a whole new level...

so i was on my daily visit to the elderly home in beattyville to donate an hour of my time to emptying bed pans and wiping wrinkled up asses after those cripples get off the shitter when i noticed a dead dog on the side of the road. so i do the normal thing and get out of the car to go bury the dog properly when i noticed something weird inside the carcass. it looked like a flat disc covered with something lumpy and all this was covered in blood and ripped up intestines. i don't know why i noticed, but i did. anyway, i started picking through to see what this shit was. i was hands deep inside this dog when i seized what it was i was looking for. i pulled my hand out of that smelly stink beak only to find a few rolled up tortillas and some black beans. i didn't know what the fuck was going on. anyway, i threw the food items to the side and went about my business of burying that poor shitgobbler. i went off in the woods and was digging when i heard a faint noise of some sort. it was that men without hat's song i think? yeah, yeah...it was the safety dance! who the hell listens to that crap i thought? so after putting the bitch to the grave i walked towards the music. i came to a bit of a clearing and the safety dance was now jammin' pretty loud. i hid behind a boulder on the edge of the field and saw some bitch trying to breakdance to a crowd of dogs. i found this pretty humorous so i thought i'd stick around and watch, so i got a closer view behind this hemlock tree. when i peered out from behind i noticed it was none other than our very own spragwa! i was about to step out and say hi, but the safety dance ended, so i stopped. ol' spragwa became pretty irritated that the music was gone so she started going kinda psycho. she clubbed her hands with the nearest stick to a bloody pulp and then held a lighter under her nose till skin was melting off. this freaked me out, but for some reason i stuck around. she started saying some weird shit, "i'm a bit angry people! where the fuck is my d.j. you motherfucking shitbubbles?!". she walked over to her audience of dogs and began to go off the handle at them as if they were people! that's when i noticed the part of the field the dogs were in seemed to be spraypainted red and the dogs were staked to the ground in three rows by 8 dogs. she started kicking the dogs with her waders she was wearing. heads were flying, blood was scattered all over spragwa, and then i noticed a pile of beans landed in front of me...then some tortilla chunks and guacamole over to the side. apparently spragwa had spent some time filling these dog carcasses with mexican take-out and sewing their heads back on! it looked like custer's last stand except the other way around with spragwa the lunatic going medievil on the dog pinatas with a garden hoe! i managed to pull myself back together and get the hell outta there just as she started crawling over the field of dog parts and mexican food like a cow grazing.

anyway, just thought everyone should hear about this and keep their dog out of harms way.

Post by **Spragwa** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 12:33 pm

Where do you come up with this stuff? You're like a psychotic Brothers Grimm.

Post by **Yasmeen** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 12:47 pm

He must play Doom and listen to Marilyn Manson. There's no other explanation, really.

Post by **Power2U** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 12:54 pm

A creative writing super star....that is what he is! Look out Steven King!

Post by **Eric** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 2:00 pm

that's an awesome story, can you write some more so that I can read it to my son when he is going to sleep at night?

Post by **Danny** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 3:31 pm

forget geology -- be a writer

Post by **Spragwa** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 3:37 pm

A star is born and I got to be the subject of his breakout creative piece! Sniff...sniff. I'm so honored.

Post by **Horatio Felacio** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 6:07 pm

i'm gonna shove steven king up your ass powerfag.

Post by **Spragwa** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 6:07 pm

I hate you.

Post by **Horatio Felacio** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 6:13 pm

what the fuck? i write a poem confessing my true feeling for you and this is how you show your gratitude? i'll jab a spoon through your chest and nail your legs to a chair that's covered in acid so your ass melts off.