Since you are an academic you should have gone for the forehead tattoo.
'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment?
I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'
The polite way to excuse yourself and take a piss.
actually, it was the precursor to the "very cool" yellow plastic livestrong bands...remember those? I even saw John Edwards wearing one recently, but he is so 2004 so it makes sense.
I heard that Ashtray has to wear tape on his wrists just like you have to bolt the $%*& out of a engine to the frame of a car.
Without these industrial fastners, the torque and horsepower of the engine would rip shit appart! (insert Time the Tool Mans noice here).
Again the orgasm contraption....what was that again?
Climbing is not free. Support your local climbing organization. Labor and money precious resources!