Non-cool

[alien2]

Heard of a climber loaded with 'biners,
Racked up and ready to go.
Heard of some new routes far from the highway,
A place that nobody knows.
The sound of beta off in the distance,
I'm getting used to it now.
Climbed on the big walls, climbed on the boulders,
Don't think I'll ever slow down.

This ain't no sport climb,
This ain't no top rope,
This ain't hang doggin' around.
No time to drink beer,
Belay from lawn chairs,
I ain't got time for that now.

Somebody saw us up on our new crag,
We had to feign ignorance.
I've got twelve rock shoes, a couple of chalk bags,
Some people ask if I'm French.
High above basecamp, bags are loaded,
All the ropes are in place.
I sleep at the bivvy, I jug up at daybreak,
A great big smile on my face.

This ain't no contest,
This ain't on TV,
There ain't no judge and no crowd.
I want to hang out,
Be seen at Snowbird,
I ain't got time for that now.

Heard about Smith Rocks, heard about Hueco,
Heard about Joshua Tree.
You oughta know not to climb wearing Levi's,
Somebody's likely to see.
I got some Stoppers, some Chouinard Ovals,
To do El Cap in a day.
But I ain't got no Walkman, ain't got no boom box,
Ain't got no CD's to play.

Why use the Bosch drill? Why bolt on rappel?
To make some dinky new route.
Quickdraws all preplaced,
Every three feet,
That's not what climbing's about.

This ain't no limestone,
This ain't the Verdon,
This is the U. S. of A.
If climbing's too scary,
Go back to the rock gym,
Leave the cliffs for the brave.

We disdain topos and preinspecting,
We always lead it onsight.
Stuck on a Grade IV after the sun goes,
We just stay for the night.
We dress like hardmen, wear day-glo fashions,
It's all a clever disguise.
Changed my lycra so many times now,
Gotta blend with the times.

You like the jamcracks, I like the friction,
We make a pretty good team.
Don't get exhausted, I'll do some leading,
I think it's your turn to clean.
Burned all our guidebooks, what good are guidebooks?
Route skills help me survive.
I'd rather climb into the unknown,
That's when I know I'm alive.

[gunslnga]

your love causes a burning sensation when i pee Ho.

You swore I was the only one, now your 2 timing me with some HO!!!!!

[SCIN]

anticlimber, you shouldn't be so mean. You are a very mean person. We need to talk.

[anticlmber]

i can't help it SCIN. Tackett told me ever since he got his Ray Ellington Doll he has no need for me. Ive been bitter and confused ever since. I'd be glad to sit down with some hot cocoa and share my feelings.

[Day]

Mountaineer - Hiker
Alakan Mountaineer - Strong Hiker
Himalayan Mountaineer - Soon to be dead hiker

[reospeed]

this post makes me giggle.