Math for the real world

Post by **RRO** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:47 pm

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the
same thing to them at funerals.

Post by **ewaaser** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 2:18 pm

Oh, so many nuggets of truth and wisdom in that............

Post by **lordjim_2001** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 2:51 pm

So funny I spewed cracker bits all over my keyboard.

Post by **merrick** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:16 pm

now that is math that I understand!!!

Post by **dmw** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 5:29 pm

Men are stupid.

Post by k9 » Thu Aug 17, 2006 6:41 pm

This is awesome. I totally loved it and hurt a little at the truth in it.

Can't we all just get along?!

Post by **charlie** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 7:14 pm

Now come on D, you know men aren't any stupider than women and what you may miss in intelligence we make up for in predictability.

Post by k9 » Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:42 pm

dmw wrote:Men are stupid.

Women "Marry" them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Refer back to the original post

Post by **dipsi** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 3:49 am

k9 wrote:

Women "Marry" them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just so we can have babies!

Yeah, yeah! I know, but I'm from the olde school!

Post by **Crankmas** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 1:07 pm

in the new issue of climbing, a conversation about stemming, "just spread your legs and trust the rubber"