A Day in the Life of Prince Runamok, a Climber’s Dog.
(Based on true events witnessed over the past couple weeks in Muir Valley.)
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I was hoping we were going to MV and here we are pulling in! Gotta get busy. Lots to do for a CC (Climber’s Cur). First lets drop a pile right here in the middle of the parking lot. Next, have ta mark my territory on the wheels of all these cars and the maintenance building, and the kiosk, and…
Whew! That took a lot out of me. Let’s drink up and make more ammo. Time to head out to the crags. Sure glad my owner, like most of the other dog owners here, ignores that silly leash rule and lets me run anywhere I please. I had a ball tearin’ the hell out of Torrent, but that’s in the past. Let’s see what we can do with this place!
Ah, we’re at the Solarium. Time to dump another load. Gotta make a show of this. Hmm where to go, where to go. Ha, right here at the base of Magnum Opus. Ahhhhh. My owner never cleans up after me, and I’m way under the rim of the rock shelter, so that otta stay here at stage center for a long while.
Well off to sniffnpee. Let’s start with this backpack and that rope bag. Bullseye! God I’m good at this. Here’s another over… Yipe! Why’s that dude throwin’ rocks at me? Lighten up, man. It’s only urine!
Whoohoo! Here’s m’ best pal Yappy comin’ up the trail. Hey, dawg, let’s play tag. Yer it. This is the life. Now if these damned belayers and climbers would get the hell outta the way, we have more room to fly around this place. Maybe I can give ‘em a hint. Let me slam this belayer. Whomp! See that one Yappy, she almost went over. Try that little guy at the end. Missed, but you got his rope tangled, but good.
Damn, there’s that dude throwin’ rocks again. What’s his problem? Guess he doesn’t like dogs. Ah good. I see my owner’s setting him straight.
That was fun, Yappy, whatdaya wanna do next? Oh, yeah I forgot one of our favorite games. Let’s bark our freakin’ heads off for the next half hour.
Okay, dawg you won that one, I’m growin’ hoarse. Now, do you want to dig big holes around the base here or go chew all the bark off all the small hemlocks? What, a new game called “Rip out the Roots?” Sounds like fun. Bet I can yank out bigger ones than you. This is great. Ha! Did you see that kid trip over the last one you pulled?
Whoa, what’s this comin’ up the trail? Will ya look at that hot little bitch.
“Hey, sweet thang… wanna have my love puppies?” Turn on the humper engine, and herrrrre we go!
Damn, just got started and her owner’s throwin rocks! What’s with the rocks, anyway? Now what am I supposed to do with this wood? Hmm. That rock thrower’s leg looks pretty good. Uh, better not.
Oh heck, I’m running behind on my sniffnpee schedule. So much to do. So little time.
Uh oh. Is that Ralphie coming around the corner? He’s your arch enemy, isn’t he, Yappy? Go get ‘im boy! Whoohoo! Dog fight! Dog fight!
Boy, that was in-tense. You had that ol’ dawg goin’, Yappy, until they broke it up. You two sure didn’t let that belayer get in your way. She’s still white as a ghost. Some fun here, huh?
Now what? Here comes my owner with that (ugh!) leash. Oh, I see. The old fart that owns this place is comin’ up the trail. Gotta at least look legit. Oh well, he’ll be gone soon, and I’ll be freed up to continue my dirty deeds.
So much to do. So little time.
[/b]
Prince Runamok, a Climber's Dog's Life
Prince Runamok, a Climber's Dog's Life
Life is too important to be taken seriously. - Oscar Wilde
There are a lot of asshole-dogs out there, and a lot of asshole-dog owners in denial. Dogs become assholes when they are put into situations that clash with their instincts.
Anyway, the fact is, not all dogs need to be on a leash. Dogs like prince runamock, described above obviously should be. Without the asshole-dog censor turned on (love is sometimes blind), all of us with dogs (the dogs themselves, mostly) have to pay the price of dragging a leashed dog around with a 45# pack on your back.
Anyway, the fact is, not all dogs need to be on a leash. Dogs like prince runamock, described above obviously should be. Without the asshole-dog censor turned on (love is sometimes blind), all of us with dogs (the dogs themselves, mostly) have to pay the price of dragging a leashed dog around with a 45# pack on your back.
idea up for grabs 
...someone should start up a kennel around the area $$$$. then sell all the poop collected for fertilizer $$$$$. Case point: I saw a dog owner this past weekend reading the sign (PLEASE KEEP DOG ON LEASH AT ALL TIMES), as his dog freely bolted past to sniff some other dog's ass. Then continued to bark and spar. The best, was this respectfull dog and owner this weekend. This dog had a leash on, healed and listed to every command from his owner, but the owner rarely ever had the leash in his hand. It was coiled up in the dogs mouth. 
...someone should start up a kennel around the area $$$$. then sell all the poop collected for fertilizer $$$$$. Case point: I saw a dog owner this past weekend reading the sign (PLEASE KEEP DOG ON LEASH AT ALL TIMES), as his dog freely bolted past to sniff some other dog's ass. Then continued to bark and spar. The best, was this respectfull dog and owner this weekend. This dog had a leash on, healed and listed to every command from his owner, but the owner rarely ever had the leash in his hand. It was coiled up in the dogs mouth. successfully beating anorexia