if people aren't afraid of anything, why not air it out? it's only words after all, right? if we're not afraid of ground falls or loose bolts, what can someone else's opinion really do to us?
with sexual abuse cases, people always say, "don't stay quiet! speak out!"
with physical abuse cases, people always say, "don't stay quiet! speak out!"
with verbal abuse cases, people always say, "don't stay quiet! speak out!"
with this case people say, "shut up and don't tell me about it.."
why?
for the most part, i bite my tongue. it's been, for me, a matter of protection for myself and another in my life. personally, i'm more apt to go about things silently, to work in the background. i've avoided conflict whenever possible.. and i can't figure out if it's ever gotten me anything i've wanted or needed. call it pacifism or passive or whatever.. sometimes i feel like all i end up with is a belly full of bad blood.
do i think artsay's right? i'm in no position to be the judge of that. do i think she's said things that are accurate and that should be addressed? yes, i do. i think she's on the mark, actually.
we're all willing to confront someone with an addiction or similar. we even call it "helping". in fact, doing it in a public or group situation is encouraged. otherwise, the person feels that the confrontor might be the only one, might be the only one to see things that way. why do we feel differently when it's a personality or "other" problem? why do we get hush hush about it? sometime people need to see a group of people who all feel the same way to say to them selves, "hell, can all these people be that wrong?" sometimes it takes a friend to tell you exactly how it is in no uncertain terms.
do i consider terry a friend of mine? of course. does he consider me a friend? i don't know for sure but i'd be honored. has he upset and hurt many of my friends? yes, he has. i don't think that's what terry wants at all. i fully believe that terry is a great guy with a good heart and the best intentions. i think, though, he struggles with things as all of us do. he's a self-proclaimed steppenwolf. it's from a book by herman hesse. in it, the main character acknowledges that there are two personalities within himself: the man and the beast (wolf). the man in him wants to be social and wants love, friendships, respect.. all the things of a "civilized world". but the beast in him comes out some times and viciously attacks each of these ideals and rips apart any and all social graces and conventions.
anyway, i've exceed my allotted space. i'm done for now. just know that the steppenwolf believes that he's condemned to this fate.. he has to be shown the absurdity of his state from the outside..h.h. in steppenwolf wrote: and the steppenwolf has two natures, a human and a wolfish one... in [harry's] the man and wolfe did not go the same way together, but were in continual and deadly enmity. one existed simply and solely to harm the other... for example, if harry, as man, had a beautiful thought, felt a fine and noble emotion, or performed a so-called good act, then the wolf bared his teeth at thim and laughed and showed him with better scorn how laughable this whole pantomime was in the eyes of a beast, of a wolfe who knew well enough in his heart what suited him, namely, to trot alone over the Steppes and now and then gorge himself with blood or to pusue a female wolf. then, wolfishly seen, all human activities became horribly absurd and misplaced, stujpid and vain..
pablo.more steppenwolf wrote: so too, to come to the point, is the steppenwolf a fiction. when harry feels himself to be a were-wolf, and chooses to consist of two hostile and opposed beings, he is merely availing himself of a mythological simplification. he is no were-wolf at all... it was merely in the hope of being more easily understood with the assistance of a delusion, which we must now endeavor to put in its true light.
