Climber Rhymers

Discussions full of RAGE!
Mike Jones
Posts: 241
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2005 12:55 pm

Post by Mike Jones »

SCIN will be askin for more
Mike Jones! the playa for sure
Mike Jones! is a hacker, SCIN is a cracker
I got a script I helped secure

hollar @ ya boy!
Who is Mike Jones?
merrick
Posts: 1678
Joined: Sun Oct 06, 2002 10:01 pm

Post by merrick »

thur wuz two climberz named team nantucket
they got sik of the drama and just said fuck it
they went out to crank hard in the cold
high on the route found no holdz
way run out, the leader decided to chuck it

>>>>

a fly-by dino up high
caught, slipped, whipped all around heard the cry (oooohh fuuuckk)
40 footer reelin in the slack
fuck this sport shit i am stickin to crack
Back from the Dead!
weber
Posts: 1017
Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2003 5:44 pm

Post by weber »

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand. - Randy Pausch
None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. - Henry David Thoreau
512OW
Posts: 3040
Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2002 9:43 pm

Post by 512OW »

I have a collection of old books called "The Climbing Art". They are poems, drawings, and essays by climbers....
"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
-Tyler Durden

www.odubmusic.com
weber
Posts: 1017
Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2003 5:44 pm

Post by weber »

The Protection Racket - by Dave James

In the beginning we had the stone in the crack
We collected an assortment as we walked up the track
They were simple to place
And removed without trace
Above all, they cost nothing at that.

Those before us had no protection at all
To save them in the event of a fall
It was a disgrace
To drop from the face
"The leader must never come off." was the call.

Pegs were a protection, as you would well know
But using those pegs made cracks widen and grow
"This just will not do."
Said a purist or two
"These pitons will just have to go."

Truck wheel-nuts would just do the trick
They were threaded with slings thin and thick
After removing the nut thread
And it was often said
That the truck wheels came off very quick.

It didn't take long for to realize
That we needed more nuts of a difference size
Cracks were often more wide
Or tighter inside
So an assortment of nuts were taken up by the wise.

There's just one thing we complained of at that date
Even then it was just between us and our mate
There were no "if's and buts"
Those racks full of nuts
Were a soul-destroying, strength-sapping weight.

But still, even these nuts were free
For trucks were abundant you see
But the crunch was quite near
Someone said "Here!"
"The cash for those nuts could all come to me."

Nuts were soon sold in an assortment of shapes
Names were invented for all different makes
They realized our plight
And made these nuts light
Our lives were no longer so badly at stake.

From 'One's' upwards went chocks on wire
With these, grades were pushed even higher
Old climbers were brave
But we were safety's slave
We were the embers of the original fire.

We had Copper-heads, Wedges and Bat-hooks
We were ever updating our books
There were nuts made of plastic
In colours fantastic
Some used them and some bought them for looks.

Lighter and better went the trend
For safety, as we would ascend
There were Hexentrics and Chocks
That you could buy in a box
Then a miracle, along came the 'Friend'.

Now we have Micro-mates, Stoppers and Camalots
Flexible friends, Wallnuts and Rocks
Rock 'n' rollers on hand
Makes the leader feel grand
As he tries to climb dangerous spots.

But a new 'anchor' has caused quite a jolt
Causing some oldies to call for a halt
They left no traces
Of protection on faces
Now the faces are being scarred by the bolt.

Yet, the fire has been fueled once again
Youngsters have re-kindled the flame
Instead of our ambling antics
They now do acrobatics
They make us look docile and plain.

Now I look at my up-to-date rack
And often my memory goes back
To those days of my youth
When we had nothing to use
Except the faithful old stone in the crack.

Dave James. June 1988.
We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand. - Randy Pausch
None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. - Henry David Thoreau
Yasmeen
Posts: 4663
Joined: Tue Oct 08, 2002 10:42 am

Post by Yasmeen »

Mike Jones wrote:this guy seems legit!
So does this one!

Image

Right, now back to the rhyming...
"I snatched defeat from the jaws of victory." --Paul
---
(Emails > PMs)
kneebar
Posts: 725
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2003 9:49 pm

Post by kneebar »

Hey.that's my van :shock:
JB
Posts: 1228
Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2003 8:36 pm

Post by JB »

i try not to write about climbing... seems a bit.. well... gh...scratch that... seems a bit odub.

still, it sneaks in from time to time:

about a girl leaving me:
well it's all up hill from here
maybe i should rope up for this climb
and these wounds may badly heal
but i don't mind
the scars

about climbing and life in general:
there used to be nothing i wanted more
than to be something great
but lately there's nothing that i want greater
than just to be something more

and lastly... not about climbing at all:
this'll be my last climb
oh how could i go higher
when i've been going for so long
and seen all my hearts desires
but all i want to do is climb
[size=75]i may be weak, but i have bad technique[/size]
User avatar
ynot
Posts: 6432
Joined: Mon Oct 07, 2002 1:02 am

Post by ynot »

My arms are on fire
I want to climb higher
That last cam
Is a total sham
It might blow
If I let go
Oh shit
I can't quit
"Everyone should have a plan for the zombie apocolipse" Courtney
JB
Posts: 1228
Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2003 8:36 pm

Post by JB »

christmas wishes to red river climbing dot commies:

why not be like santa
and climb down a chimney
to deliver power to you

no crossing this meadow
unless you head south
or maybe east to meet west

and if you’re feeling artsy
you shed your own skin
fill the tub with the rain and jump in

feel like roasting a pig steak (or a ham or a t-bone)
you silly sick monkey
you’ll need a medic if you eat that!

and if you climb 5.12 offwidth
you’ll likely be appalled
vital it is to tape up

it takes music from 88keys
to soften the rhino
but in virginia he finds his strength

and so sorry charlie
you’s a musical ho
dance all trippsy and dipsi and high

da rock squeezes da lemon
ya’s beautiful but ya’s mean
how wicked, all an evil scheme

to take away sandy beaches
you know i diggum and how!
but nobody knows long legs rule

lets consult with our websters
and all praise allah and christians
and crank while we’re merry tonight

and give hugs and bones
cuz were over hung and busty
and the good guys are legion round here

but they are all lurking
while the sunshine is smiling
and the-spi-der got stomped by our lord

and may we remember
through all this static december
that alex and johnny be good

and the blue jay be silent
cuz the young’ns are all tired
and everyone here feels like home

JB
[size=75]i may be weak, but i have bad technique[/size]
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