Quest for the Golden Piton Award
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- Posts: 229
- Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2002 2:25 am
Team Safety,
Your aspirations for the golden piton award are obviously premature. No catagory
has been listed for your attempt, so what are you going for? Trad? Mountaineering?
Who's pockets have you been greasing? Most importantly is your sponser, where the hell are they? You people are crazy thinking about the Golden Piton Award. Can
either of you really believe you can beat Team Quiver, hell, we solo harder than
5.7 sometimes. Also we have patches sewn on every piece of freaking clothing we
own, clearly you do not! Without sponser patches you're going nowhere fast. Best be sewing!
Your aspirations for the golden piton award are obviously premature. No catagory
has been listed for your attempt, so what are you going for? Trad? Mountaineering?
Who's pockets have you been greasing? Most importantly is your sponser, where the hell are they? You people are crazy thinking about the Golden Piton Award. Can
either of you really believe you can beat Team Quiver, hell, we solo harder than
5.7 sometimes. Also we have patches sewn on every piece of freaking clothing we
own, clearly you do not! Without sponser patches you're going nowhere fast. Best be sewing!
Last edited by CPower on Fri Mar 28, 2003 5:51 am, edited 2 times in total.
Hueco monkey
That got me thinkin' Rhino. If we can get creative with our scabs and scars, maybe we can spell out "TS" on our legs and hands.
But seriously, I think our accomplishments will speak for themselves. I'm not sure what category we'll succeed in (hell, it may be every darn one of them!), but I can't believe other teams could really match us. Here's just a partial list:
1. We each carry a rack to the crag that by itself, would be enough to get us up El Cap. Rhino just bought a bigger pack to haul it in.
2. I climb with gear made before some editors were born with names of companies that are bankrupt.
3. Most of my good cams don't even work! Now that's CAAARRRRAAAZZZZZYYYY!
4. Ryan claims to have invented his "Signature Mantle Move". It looks suspicisously like my wife's signature mantle move, but he first thought to capitalize the words and copyright them before she did.
5. Only Ryan has ever curiously nested 5 pieces of gear in one spot and then purposely didn't even clip one of them in!! That's a guy with a NUTSACK!
6. I've refined the OPEN QUICKDRAW for fast clipping. (recipe: keep your wet quickdraws in your pack, add some dirt, and Voila! The bent gate will stay open for you!
Holy Smoke! Isn't that enough already????
But seriously, I think our accomplishments will speak for themselves. I'm not sure what category we'll succeed in (hell, it may be every darn one of them!), but I can't believe other teams could really match us. Here's just a partial list:
1. We each carry a rack to the crag that by itself, would be enough to get us up El Cap. Rhino just bought a bigger pack to haul it in.
2. I climb with gear made before some editors were born with names of companies that are bankrupt.
3. Most of my good cams don't even work! Now that's CAAARRRRAAAZZZZZYYYY!
4. Ryan claims to have invented his "Signature Mantle Move". It looks suspicisously like my wife's signature mantle move, but he first thought to capitalize the words and copyright them before she did.
5. Only Ryan has ever curiously nested 5 pieces of gear in one spot and then purposely didn't even clip one of them in!! That's a guy with a NUTSACK!
6. I've refined the OPEN QUICKDRAW for fast clipping. (recipe: keep your wet quickdraws in your pack, add some dirt, and Voila! The bent gate will stay open for you!
Holy Smoke! Isn't that enough already????