Quest for the Golden Piton Award

Placing a cam? Slotting a nut? Slinging a tree?
Johnny
Posts: 580
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2002 9:28 pm

Quest for the Golden Piton Award

Post by Johnny »

(Moved from other forum)
Well, to explain to all interested, here's the story:

Team Safety has found a crack that won't really help us in getting the Golden Piton Award that we were obviously shafted out of this past year. (Rhino's theorizes it's due to the Western bias of the magazines, or maybe just a publicity problem).

Anyway, the crack is up for a bidding war between you and SCIN. An agent of yours started with the first bid of $15 which could be paid in cash or trinkets. I offered the next bid to SCIN and he agreed to $20 in cash or putting a banner on the top of the BBS with a nomination of Team Safety for the 2003 Golden Piton Award.

Team Safety isn't sure which would be a better strategy in getting the GPA at this point. It may just need a photo of us hanging off of homemade gear that looks like it should be used for some teenager's braces. Or, if it's a matter of publicity, we just need our name out there. Since the BBS is international (it is the WWW), that may be our ticket. At any rate, we're looking for a shoe-in situation for the GPA and whatever we can get from this route is critical to our success.

SCIN wanted to see a photo of the route, but obviously, until we get serious about bidding, such information can't be revealed yet. I can tell you that it's wide, has an overhang with a flare like the top pitch of The Quest tilted over. Then more wide stuff, then an offwidth overhang at the top that is more like a roof. It's probably about 100 feet tall. Doesn't look rotten, and has a bit of lichen--not clean, but not funk either.
Johnny
Posts: 580
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2002 9:28 pm

Post by Johnny »

Well, the stakes are getting higher now. Team Safety met at an undisclosed location with BatGuano and he became the first bidder to see digital photos of the route. As he could only view them on the camera monitor, they were difficult to get much detail out of, but he instantly said, "Whatever you want man! Circleheads, leadheads, deadheads..." Team Safety Intelligence crews are trying to decipher what those words mean, but anyway, $25 bucks worth of gear and some other undisclosed commitments from Guanoboy means that the bidding is now back to SCIN.

We'll try to get the pix on the board if I can enlist some co-workers to download the camera files.
Johnny
Posts: 580
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2002 9:28 pm

Post by Johnny »

As a side note, Team Safety went out and bled all weekend. Here's an excerpt from a conversation between team members recorded by one of Red River Climbing's field correspondents:

"I think this Golden Piton strategy... [garbled]... is like a juggernaut."

"Shock and Awe, baby!"

"I used that little mono that looks like a shrew's vagina."

"How come every piece of gear we own has blood all over it?"
User avatar
Artsay
Posts: 3282
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2002 3:11 pm

Post by Artsay »

Shoot, THAT amount of money you mentioned SCIN just received in the mail FOR FREE from a kind and generous guy who donated it because he appreciated the work SCIN's done with the site.

I have an idea! Why don't you just GIVE the dang thing to SCIN as a thank you? That sure would be reeaaal nice of you, Johnny. But who am I to try to make up your mind for you? I'm just the biased girlfriend, the only one who sees all the time, money, and dedication SCIN puts into this site if just for the love of climbing at the RRG and to give enjoyment to the climbing community.

So...is any of this working?
Johnny
Posts: 580
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2002 9:28 pm

Post by Johnny »

Wow, Team Safety gettin' worked on from the emotional plea angle. This could be difficult. May have to call in some "handlers" to deal with this.

Artsay, perhaps we need to be working on a side deal. Set up a meeting and we'll talk about YOUR needs. You know, what can Team Safety do for you? Imagine when we get the Golden Piton Award what can happen for you if you are positioned right? I'm tellin' ya, this thing is a JUGGERNAUT!
StephyG
Posts: 473
Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2002 12:38 am

Post by StephyG »

Ummm, Artsay, I think the bribery should stay between the three immediately involved parties. I will refrain myself from any further comments concerning whether the talented, determined, and clever minded batguano or the also talented yet over-burdented with projects, SCIN should be awarded the rights to the as formentioned crack. :wink:
Johnny
Posts: 580
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2002 9:28 pm

Post by Johnny »

Okay, I have the images on my computer. How do I put 'em on here?
Steve
Posts: 1745
Joined: Fri Sep 27, 2002 1:34 am

Post by Steve »

Hey Johnny lets work out a option on said route. Kinda like the RRGCC did on the Murray property. I'm in no way shape or form ready to tackle this awesome route, but I feel that in a year I might be better positioned physically and financially to step up to the table and make an offer Team Safety can't refuse. Let's talk.
I see they are still lopping off mountains in Eastern Kentucky. Electricity isn't cheap.
User avatar
SCIN
Posts: 4932
Joined: Fri Sep 20, 2002 1:19 pm

Post by SCIN »

I think Batguano should get it. I have my new super-secret crag keeping me busy right now.

Is it going to disappear after the first guy does it or something?
Yo Ray jack dynomite! Listen to my beat box! Bew ch ch pff BEW ch ch pfff! Sweet!

-Horatio
Johnny
Posts: 580
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2002 9:28 pm

Post by Johnny »

Nice ploy SCIN. I know you'll want it when you see it. So how do I get it on the board?
Post Reply